Mike's MoosRoom

"Hey Man, You Got the 'Stuff'?"

2012-02-02T07:49:00.000-05:00

"Hey man, you got the stuff?" Tommy asks.

"Um, what stuff you talkin' bout man? I don't know nothing about no stuff..." Cheech responds.

"Come on, you know what I'm talking about - the GOOD stuff. I need it bad man, I got a monkey on my back the size of Paula Deen." Tommy says.

"Oh, oh, THAT stuff? No way man, I don't have any of that. THAT stuff will KILL you deader than Taylor Hicks' singing career."

"Okay man, you got any virgin-pure-uncut Kosher salt?" Tommy leans in as he asks this last question.

"No way man, this is California. That stuff will get you 3 - 5 in the Big House," Cheech answers.

Tommy lowers his eyes and asks Cheech quietly, "Transfats? You got any transfats man?" I'm Jonesin' for some transfats. I haven't had any since 2010. Come on man, you gotta help out your bro' on this one..."

"I've got no transfats, I've got no salt, I've got no sugar, you hear me? All I've got are these semi-automatic weapons I bought at the high school and a couple of rocks of crack. You want those?"

"Nah, that STUFF will kill you." Tommy says as he stares down at his hands folded on his lap.

"I think there's a Smoothie Shack up there, you want a Cucumber-Tomato-Carrot-Dill Smoothie or somethin'?"

"No. I'll just get out of the car and graze on the grass along the shoulder of the highway..." Tommy says.

"Okay, just make sure you don't eat any weed..."

The scene fades as today's post begins

Sugar - The "New Crack"
Eat it, baby, eat it!!!

From the San Francisco Chronicle Online: Like alcohol and tobacco, sugar is a toxic, addictive substance that should be highly regulated with taxes, laws on where and to whom it can be advertised, and even age-restricted sales, says a team of UCSF scientists.

In a paper published in Nature on Wednesday, they argue that increased global consumption of sugar is primarily responsible for a whole range of chronic diseases that are reaching epidemic levels around the world.

Sugar is so heavily entrenched in the food culture in the United States and other countries that getting people to kick the habit will require much more than simple education and awareness campaigns, the UCSF scientists said.
...
It's going to require public policy that gently guides people toward healthier choices and uses brute force to remove sugar from so many of the processed foods we eat every day, said Dr. Robert Lustig, a pediatric endocrinologist at UCSF.

"The only method for dealing with this is a public health intervention," Lustig said in an interview. "Everyone talks about personal responsibility, and that won't work here, as it won't for any addictive substance. These are things that have to be done at a governmental level, and government has to get off its ass."

...
In their paper, they argue for taxes on heavily sweetened foods and beverages, restricting advertising to children and teenagers, and removing sugar-ladened products from schools, or even from being sold near schools. They suggest banning the sale of sugary beverages to children.

Schmidt noted that those policies could nudge people toward healthier choices - but only if, at the same time, healthier choices are made widely available. Such policies have worked in reducing alcohol consumption and smoking rates, she said. There's no reason they can't work with sugar too.

Lustig said he realizes that there will likely be heavy resistance to the idea of largely removing sugar from American diets - and resistance not just from the food and beverage industries, but from the public at large. (Moos Note: Hey, did they just slip a PUN in here? "The public 'at large'?")

Yes, there is more to this, but I'm out of time. Work calls and I must answer. But here's something to think about while I'm gone: What happens when you 'Nudge people toward healthier choices?' I know. Later today, you will too...

Have a nice day!

Eat at your own risk... Um, while you can.

Kathleen Sebelius Answers to a Higher Authority

2012-02-01T18:14:00.000-05:00

Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary of the U.S. Department
of Health and Human Services

Letter January 25, 2012 from Archbishop John G. Vlazny on the matter of freedom of conscience and decisions by Health and Human Services...

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ:

It is important for you to know that the federal government has just dealt a heavy blow to the Catholic population and to the millions more who are served by the Catholic faithful.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services announced last week that almost all employers, including Catholic employers, will be forced to offer their employees’ health coverage that includes sterilization, abortion-inducing drugs, and contraception. Almost all health insurers will be forced to include those “services” in the health policies they write. And almost all individuals will be forced to buy that coverage as a part of their policies.

By this ruling, the Administration has cast aside the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, denying to Catholics our Nation’s first and most fundamental freedom, that of religious liberty. Unless the rule is overturned, we Catholics will be compelled to violate our consciences or drop health coverage for our employees (and suffer the penalties for doing so). The Administration’s sole concession was to give our institutions one year to comply.

We cannot and will not comply with this unjust law. People of faith cannot be made second class citizens. We are already joined by our brothers and sisters of all faiths and many others of good will in this important effort to regain our religious freedom.

In generations past, the Church has always been able to count on the faithful to stand up and protect her sacred rights and duties. I hope and trust she can count on this generation of Catholics to do the same. Our children and grandchildren deserve nothing less.

And therefore, I would ask of you two things. First, as a community of faith we must commit ourselves to prayer and fasting that wisdom and justice may prevail, and religious liberty may be restored. Without God, we can do nothing; with God, nothing is impossible. Second, I recommend visiting www.usccb.org/conscience, to learn more about this severe assault on religious liberty, and how to contact Congress in support of legislation that would reverse the Administration’s decision.

Thank you for all you do to build the Church and society.

Sincerely yours in Christ,

Most Reverend John G. Vlazny

Archbishop of Portland in Oregon

The Catholic Church is being "Legislated" into providing Birth Control, abortion, and sterilization services to employees of the Church. This, according to the provisions of 'ObamaCare' and according to the Secretary of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius.

Haven't I heard SOMETHING about "The Separation of Church and State" for my entire life? Yes, I believe that I have. So what's this crap that the Catholic Church needs to provide services for its employees, which are diametrically opposed to the teachings OF the Catholic Church?

Let me ask you this: "Is the Separation of Church and State only applicable when the Church undercuts the authority of the State? Or, perhaps, when a stray manger or something looking even close to a 'Cross-shaped object' shows up on public land?"

Does this mean that the oft-referenced mantra of the Left (separation of yada, yada, yada), is then, at best, '50% Universal' in scope? Or, could it be also then be fairly said that the support is 100% in favor of the Federal Government's "Whim Du Jour"?

I'm sure that the Most Reverend John G. Vlazny put a lot of time into drafting his letter above. I'm not going to try to restate that which he so eloquently spoke of above. I have neither the patience, nor the desire, to be as thoughtful and well-spoken as he is.

This government was founded upon a belief that there IS a God. Our currency includes the words, "In God We Trust". This is NOT an accident, not a 'typo', or random act of literary license. It was an expression of one of our most basic tenets of our Nation's founding. There was a period of time in our history when MOST Americans believed that the Great American Experiment was undertaken with the blessings of God. This, of course, is back when we, as a Nation, believed in God.

Just lately, I wonder - does God still believe in US?

As for myself, I believe that the Federal Government believes neither in God, nor US (you can read the latter expression to stand for either 'the United States', OR us, as in, you know, the pronoun for you, I, and everyone else we know.) The Federal Government, Obama Administration, Kathleen Sebelius, et al, have broken the trust given to them by US.

I've told my kids for years that trust is similar to a bank account. They can make deposits daily to the 'Trust Fund' when they are truthful, honest, and when they act consistent with their core beliefs. However, much like a bank account, withdrawals can also be made through a breach of trust, a lie, or a misrepresentation of the facts. If we were to break open the Obama Administration's 'Trust Fund', I suspect that we would find it bankrupt - both financially and morally. A mirror image of the contents of the vacuous mass's soul currently inhabiting the White House.

In this, as with so many other instances, the Administration has squandered the trust given to it by the American people less than four years ago. This Administration has chosen to go into the 2012 Election Year picking a fight with Catholics and people of Faith across the Nation?

Smooth move Ex-Lax...

Kathleen Sebelius may answer to President Obama as her, "Higher Authority", but so help me God, there'll be much for all of the President's Men and Women to answer for in November, 2012.

Yeah, so help me God.

Barack, Meet Bill

2012-01-24T19:55:00.001-05:00

The Bill Of Rights (as approved by the TSA)

If you plan on watching the President's State of the Union Speech this evening, please take a moment to check out the Rights granted to you by courtesy of a series of Amendments to the Constitution known as the "Bill of Rights".

No, not the redacted Rights (above) granted by the TSA, but, rather, the ACTUAL Bill of Rights, given to you by a bunch of old White guys who cared more about your Freedom than the man currently serving as the President, the Commander In Chief, the Leader in Absentia, President Barack Hussein Obama [APPLAUSE]!

If you find the President violating ANY of your Rights during this evening's speech, please feel free to print out the following listing and check off the violations put forth by the Teleprompter, um, er, President. Put a nice big X on any Amendment he's trampled upon this evening while he's re-hashing speeches of the past two years.

For Example (por ejemplo):

Government taking over private industries?
Government running guns into Mexico to promote 'Gun Control'?
Government mandating that you buy health care insurance from them (or anyone)?
Government telling you what you may, or may not, eat?
Government working for the good of Unions at the expense of the private sector?
Government monitoring / managing the exchange of information on the Internet?

VIOLATIONS!

Tomorrow, or later tonight (if you can't sleep), please submit your "Violations to the Bill of Rights As Outlined In the State of the Union Speech 2012" and send them to me here.

My mailing address is:

MoosRoom

1234 Anywhere But Here Drive

Mootown, MOO 60609

This, of course is not my ACTUAL address, as providing an actual address would inspire Crazies from across the country to seek me out and hurt me (all in the name of 'fairness'). Well, at least they would TRY to hurt me. Luckily for me I used to be big and strong, now I'm only, well, you know; 'big' (still not sure if this is a 'good thing' or not...).

In closing, please refer to the following for your complete, your guaranteed, your God-given (oops, now I AM in trouble - 'Crazy Alert' Begins NOW!) Rights as granted to you via the first Ten Amendments to The Constitution.

Ladies, Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, I present to you - The Bill of Rights

(President Obama read the Cliff Notes' Version - but for the rest of us, here they are in their entirety!!!)

The Preamble to The Bill of Rights

Congress of the United States begun and held at the City of New-York, on Wednesday the fourth of March, one thousand seven hundred and eighty nine.

THE Conventions of a number of the States, having at the time of their adopting the Constitution, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of its powers, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added: And as extending the ground of public confidence in the Government, will best ensure the beneficent ends of its institution.

RESOLVED by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America, in Congress assembled, two thirds of both Houses concurring, that the following Articles be proposed to the Legislatures of the several States, as amendments to the Constitution of the United States, all, or any of which Articles, when ratified by three fourths of the said Legislatures, to be valid to all intents and purposes, as part of the said Constitution; viz.

ARTICLES in addition to, and Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, proposed by Congress, and ratified by the Legislatures of the several States, pursuant to the fifth Article of the original Constitution.

Note: The following text is a transcription of the first ten amendments to the Constitution in their original form. These amendments were ratified December 15, 1791, and form what is known as the "Bill of Rights."

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Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

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Amendment II

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

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Amendment III

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

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Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

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Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

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Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

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Amendment VII

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

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Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

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Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

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Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

If you read and understood the above Amendments - congratulations, you're an informed American Citizen!

If you have not read, or understood the above?

Perhaps one day you can be President!

A word of warning though... To get the 'nod', you'll have to be a Progressive Liberal Democrat. Unless of course, you're Bernie Sanders, I, VT, in which case you'll have to be a card-carrying Socialist Democrat. In Democrat-speak - that's a Weapons Grade Democrat...

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

“We have been expecting businesses to provide health insurance coverage, but is this fair? Or, should health insurance be like education, a public responsibility?” -- Bernie Sanders

"Will the 99% Please SHUT UP!!!", Cordially, the 1%

2012-01-24T09:07:00.001-05:00

Ahem, WILL the 99% PLEASE be silent until we need them again...

My friend, Grumpy, over at www.GrumpyElder.com sent me a link to a post last night intended to give me what President Obama has never given me - HOPE. Not 'hope' in the bumper sticker sense, but rather, 'hope' as in the, "Please God, if you are there, can't you give us a break - if it wasn't for bad news there wouldn't be ANY news?" sense.

And, the 'Hope', at least for me, came last night at roughly 9:18pm. Grumpy sent me a link regarding a story I had heard NOTHING about. A story of Citizenship, a story of courts, a story of possibilities. You can find it here by clicking the following link: LIVE FEED FROM THE COURTHOUSE

Bottom line is that a private citizen in Georgia (images of NASCAR dance through your head) is questioning whether the current President of the United States should have been allowed to RUN for President in the first place. No, it's not the 'Birther' thing, you can follow the story link and get the details there. I'm not going to re-write what's already been written.

So where do I find my 'Hope'? I decided to do a Google Search to see what else I could find on the story since I had heard nothing about it online or on the nightly news.

Begin Google search sequence now:

And then something wonderful happened...

I followed the 1st link I found and...

Get ready, here it comes...

Two things:

First, someone within the Occupy Wall Street organization posted the link about President Obama's eligibility hearing, and then,
Second, someone else within the Occupy Wall Street's '1%' took away their right to be heard

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Hypocrites.

Below is an excerpt from the occupywallstreet.org's "Principles of Solidarity":

How many crises does it take? We are the 99% and we have moved to reclaim our mortgaged future. Through a direct democratic process, we have come together as individuals and crafted these principles of solidarity, which are points of unity that include but are not limited to:

■Engaging in direct and transparent participatory democracy;
■Exercising personal and collective responsibility;
■Recognizing individuals’ inherent privilege and the influence it has on all interactions;
■Empowering one another against all forms of oppression;
■Redefining how labor is valued;
■The sanctity of individual privacy;
■The belief that education is human right; and
■Endeavoring to practice and support wide application of open source.

We are daring to imagine a new socio-political and economic alternative that offers greater possibility of equality. We are consolidating the other proposed principles of solidarity, after which demands will follow.

I took the liberty of highlighting the Principles Violated by the "1 Percenter" who pulled the (DELETED) post down. Ironic that the people who whine and scream for a chance to be heard are so quick to silence others, isn't it?

Makes you wonder whose side they're on...

Conservatives vs. Liberals (The Turn-About-Is-Fair-Play Edition)

2012-01-23T19:08:00.000-05:00

Things have gotten a bit heated lately with regard to Presidential Politics, primaries, and, in general, the state of the Union. Since President Obama is having his own 'State of the Union' address tomorrow evening, I'm thinking that it's time to lighten things up a bit.

I went to the Internet and looked for jokes about politics. I found a site dedicated to jokes about Conservatives (who saw THIS coming???) sooooo, I took the liberty of changing the subject matter 'a bit' and came up with the following:

Question: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and Bill Maher?
Answer: One has a Radio Show and is the most listened to man in America, the other speaks almost entirely to himself. (Acceptable alternative answer: "Who's Bill Maher???")

Question: Why can’t liberals find facts?
Answer: They aren’t looking for any.

Question: How do liberals brain cells die?
Answer: Lonely.

Question: How do you confuse a liberal?
Answer: You don’t, they are born that way

Question: If Barack, Harry and Nancy and all the other liberals are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
Answer: We do.

Question: What’s the difference between a terrorist and a liberal?
Answer: The terrorist makes fewer demands.

Question: What’s the difference between liberals and cow pies?
Answer: Cow pies stop stinking after awhile (This is true - trust me...)

Question: What’s the definition of a liberal genius?
Answer: A liberal who can count all 50 (acceptable alternative answer: '57') states.

Question: How is being at a Democrat convention different from being at the circus?
Answer: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.

Question: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.

Question: What is the difference between giving to the poor and giving to Liberals?
Answer: The poor don’t follow you around for three weeks whining for more.

Question: How do you drown a Liberal?
Answer: You paint Barack Obama’s face at the bottom of a pool.

Question: Why do Liberals like smart, highly-educated women?
Answer: Opposites attract.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIBERAL AND CONSERVATIVE CHILDREN
(Yes, it's a joke - just go with it...)

Scientists were struggling to understand the differences between children raised in Liberal homes vs. Conservative households. They devised a study to determine if there were traits which distinguished one from the other in response to external stimuli.

Past studies indicated that Liberal children are less happy than their Conservative counterparts. In an effort to more deeply investigate the reasoning for this disparity, scientists devised a plan to study the effects of 'surroundings' on a Liberal child as well as his Conservative counterpart.

LIBERAL TEST SUBJECT "BARRY":

Barry, son of a middle-class Liberal couple is led into a darkened warehouse, seated in a wooden chair and told that he must sit for one minute after which the lights will be turned on and he can play with whatever he finds in the massive room once the lights are illuminated.

The lights turn on and Barry finds himself surrounded by brand-new toys of every shape and size, a mini-bike, and, in a distant corner of the room - a pony. The researchers film Barry's reaction at being surrounded by toys should have fired his imagination sparking youthful, gleeful play.

However, in spite of his surroundings the boy remains seated staring down at his hands neatly folded upon his lap. After two hours of observation the researchers re-enter the room to ask Barry questions:

"Why did you not play with all these wonderful toys?
"Why did you not leave your chair?"
"Didn't you SEE the pony? Every boy wants a pony?"
"What were you thinking after the lights came on?"

Barry sits gazing at his hands as he replies slowly to the questions raised by the researchers.

In response, the boy says the following:

"Oh, sure, the toys LOOK wonderful, but they will probably break once I start playing with them. Most likely they're made in China and are chock-full of lead paint which will kill me if I'm exposed to it for a long enough period of time."

"If I left my chair and you turned the lights off again, I may have fallen and hurt myself, being left alone here in the dark to die. I don't know who you are, why would I trust you - just because you're carrying a clipboard and wearing a white lab jacket? The lady in my lunch room does the same thing when I line up for my Free Lunch program at school. The only difference is that since she works for the government? I trust her."

"Yes, I saw the pony, but as everyone knows ponies and other livestock is mistreated and abused every day. If I try to ride the pony I will be forcing my will onto his, taking his freedoms away. Not to mention that fact that ponies are animals which live outside! Until I see notification from the Department of Agriculture that this pony doesn't carry any diseases and has appropriate health documentation, I'm not going any where near that thing."

"As for the lights, yes I saw them come on, but since they did not come on slowly, I realized that you were using old, inefficient incandescent bulbs. These are very expensive to operate and have a greatly diminished useful life as compared to Federally-Mandated Compact Fluorescent Bulb alternatives. I thought that if I sat in the chair that you WOULD turn the lights off again so you would not be wasting electricity. And I knew you weren't REAL researchers because real researchers would never us high intensity halogen bulbs to illuminate a warehouse full of toys - because, honestly, there's no point to it... "

The boy's voice trailed off as the researchers look from one to another. "Okay Barry, thank you for participating in our study today. Follow us out and we'll get you back to your folks in the next few minutes..."

CONSERVATIVE TEST SUBJECT "TOMMY":
Baffled by the child's reluctance to play with a warehouse full of toys, the researchers summoned Tommy to the facility for evaluation the following day.

Given the disappointing results of Barry's experience, they modified the experiment as follows:

The warehouse was emptied off all toys and games.

The pony was taken out of the facility and in his place a huge pile of manure was stacked upon the floor in the furthest corner of the warehouse.

The experiment was repeated as before, this time, with Tommy, the Conservative kid seated in the chair. When the lights came on, Tommy lept from his chair and ran for the pile of manure.  He grabbed fist fulls of the stuff and threw it into the air and everywhere around the room. He laughed, he sang, he was joyful beyond all rational expectation.

Twenty minutes later, the researchers entered the room with a single question among them, "Tommy, we put you in a room full of horse poop and you're having a LOT of fun... Why?"

Tommy looked back at them in his filthy clothes, dirty face, smiled at them and laughed, "Well, with all those horse poop in here, I figured if I kept moving this stuff around, I'd find a pony!"

As for myself, I continue to look for the pony - in SPITE of the amount of miscellaneous Liberal poop (and Nincompoops) which come my way.

I haven't found him yet, but I know he's out there.

Just a bit more digging???

Kid, question away...
It keeps 'em guessing.

No Birds - No Stone

2012-01-21T07:29:00.004-05:00

Photo courtesy of 'GreenAutoBlog'
Seriously, not kidding...

Several months ago I posted an article called, "Two Birds One Stone". The premise of the post was simple:

The Obama Administration wanted to turn the economy around by having U.S. Citizens BUY more Chevy Volts (which 'might possibly' catch fire and burn your house down as you sleep).

Once your house is gone, you (assuming you are not a crispy critter in an upstairs bed) will contract with a construction guy / gal to rebuild your charred and damaged home. In addition to propping up Government Motors' financials you'll also be doing your part to bring Construction Numbers back up prior to the next election, assuring four more years of "Hope and Flames" (oh, sorry, that last entry SHOULD read "Hope and Change").

The Two Birds One Stone scenario be illustrated mathematically by the following equation:

One Chevy Volt + One Siemens Car Charger = $200,000+ of Economic Stimulus

As illustrated above, your initial Volt investment of $46,000 will 'possibly' yield a 400+% return on investment (ROI) for the US economy.  It should be noted that this is a MUCH greater return than we've seen with Abortion ROI's over the past several years from Planned Parenthood.

Perhaps if the Federal Government provided Chevrolet Volt vehicles to pregnant women considering aborting their unborn child we'd have the Economic Trifecta. The "Three Bird - One Stone" ROI model in which we would reduce funding to Planned Parenthood, sell a GM vehicle AND stimulate the construction industry simultaneously!

Alas, this uber-potent Economic Stimulus model will never come to pass.

Why?

Oh, sure, you want to know WHY?

I learned this morning that there is NOTHING wrong with the Chevrolet Volt. No, really, I did - nothing wrong at all with the Volt.

For the past several months I was giving credit to the Obama Administration for coming up with its ONLY innovative method of stimulating the economy and turns out...

Well, suffice to say that their Innovative Job Creation counter remains firmly set somewhere in the -2,200,000 range.

According to a Bloomberg article this morning:  U.S. regulators, who ended their investigation yesterday into the Chevrolet Volt, said electric- powered vehicles do not pose a greater risk of fire than gasoline cars.

“Based on the available data, NHTSA does not believe that Chevy Volts or other electric vehicles pose a greater risk of fire than gasoline-powered vehicles,” the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration said in an e-mailed statement.

The conclusion by NHTSA came two weeks after General Motors Co. (GM) told Volt owners to bring the vehicles to dealerships for repair.

The government started investigating the Volt after a side- impact crash test in May led to a fire three weeks later. During that test, the lithium-ion battery pack broke open and coolant leaked into the battery. When the car was physically rotated as part of the test, more coolant leaked into a circuit board, leading to a fire. NHTSA replicated the fire in November and started an official probe Nov. 25.
...

The Volt blaze had little effect on sales of the vehicles, so there may not be any significant improvement with the government completing its investigation, said Jeremy Anwyl, vice chairman of auto-researcher Edmunds.com, in an e-mail.

“Volt buyers tend to be passionate about their vehicle,” Anwyl said. “They really want an electrified vehicle. The small risk represented by the potential for fire wouldn’t have been an obstacle for this group of buyers.”

“We see gasoline powered vehicles blow up in the movies all the time,” he said. “A vehicle with batteries catches fire and it is portrayed as a big deal.”

PAUSE

PAUSE

PAUSE

PAUSE

Sorry, I was shootin' milk all over the keyboard with that last quote. I'm okay now, I just thought it was 'kind of' funny that a guy defending the Chevrolet Volt would use, "We see gasoline powered vehicles blow up in movies all the time" as his primary defense of a car which has, on several occasions (NOT MENTIONED in this report), caught fire and burned down homes while people slept.

This 'other' issue, of course, has been linked to the battery charging station and NOT the batteries themselves. But I guess that's all the NHTSA was concerned with in releasing the 'ALL CLEAR!' declaration for the vehicle which the Federal Government (NHTSA) owns 32% of.

Not that there might be any perceived conflict of interest THERE...

General Motors states that they have sold 8,000 Volts since its introduction in November, 2010, for an average of 525 cars per month.  Sales numbers like these have not been seen since the introduction of Neptune Manufacturing's "Submarine Screen Door" back in 1971.

By way of comparison, the Chevy Cruze, introduced last year, sold 230,000 units during the same period. Of course, at less than one-third the cost of the Chevrolet Volt, this shouldn't really come as that big of a surprise to anyone who has ever had to make a car purchase decision before.

If the two vehicles deliver roughly the same gas mileage (they do) and provide transportation from Point A to Point B... WHY would you pay 3x the cost for a Volt?

Oh, that's right, because the guys over at Green Auto Blog told you to - right?

Good luck with that. When YOU get yours, remember to place your charging station OUTSIDE of your home, preferably on an exterior concrete wall. Last time I checked, concrete does not burn. As for your Chevrolet Volt vehicle, battery, and charger? Well, they are NOT made of concrete, are they?

If Government Motors truly wanted a cost-efficient, reliable, all-electric vehicle, they could have looked no further than right here...

THE ROBERTS ELECTRIC VEHICLE

Built in 1896, the Roberts Electric Vehicle gets over 40 Miles Per Charge -- Same as the Chevrolet Volt!
Only major differences are that it's 115 Years Old and has not (yet) burst into flames

The Roberts Electric Vehicle - Now there's: "Charge You CAN Believe In!"

For over 11 Decades.

Have a nice weekend folks!

Drive safely.

Council Bluffs, Iowa - Never been there, I hear it's nice...

2012-01-20T13:06:00.001-05:00

Just a quick note of appreciation for the person(s?) checking into the blog on a regular basis. I don't know who you are, but I wanted to let you know that IF (of course there isn't) a prize for the most consistent MoosRoom visitor existed - you would most likely win.

I don't know who you are, but I sure do appreciate you stopping by from time to time.  While I'm currently running about 150 hits per day, it's nice to see the recurring appearance of "Council Bluffs, Iowa" on the little 'Mappie-Thingie' over there to the right of the screen.

I've never been there, but I used to work for a company based out of Cedar Falls, Iowa. Actually got to visit there for training back in the 1980's (when I could run faster and jump higher). Nice area, even nicer people - we could use more folks from Iowa over here in New York State (although that would be cruel and unusual to the folks from Iowa...).

That's it for now, lunch is over, and I need to be back off to work.

Have a great weekend!

Mike (A.K.A.: Moos)

A Lesson In Physics (The Doctrine of Universal Permeation)

2012-01-19T16:40:00.002-05:00

Everything which exists is at once capable of acting and being acted upon. In everything that exists, therefore, even the smallest particle, there are these two principles. By virtue of the passive principle the thing is susceptible of motion and modification; it is matter which determines substance.

The active principle makes the matter a given determinate thing, characterizing and qualifying it, whence it is termed quality. For all that is or happens there is an immediate cause or antecedent; and as cause means cause of motion, and only body can act upon body, it follows that this antecedent cause is itself as truly corporeal as the matter upon which it acts.

Thus we are led to regard the active principle force as everywhere coextensive with matter, as pervading and permeating it, and together with it occupying and filling space.

This is that famous doctrine of universal permeation, by which the axiom that two bodies cannot occupy the same space is practically denied.

Got that???

Okay, if 'two bodies cannot occupy the same space'...

How do theoreticians explain the fact that President Obama AND Goofy are BOTH at Disney World today?

Hmmmmmm?

Just wondering...

Mission Accomplished?

2012-01-15T20:32:00.003-05:00

Remember when Leaders of Major Political Parties didn't encourage citizens to 'occupy' property, to prevent people from going to work, or to damage private / public property?

Yeah, me neither. I can't remember this far back.

We've come so very far in the past three years.

Let's step back and take an admiring look at all we've accomplished...

According to PEW Research, January 11, 2012:

The Occupy Wall Street movement no longer occupies Wall Street, but the issue of class conflict has captured a growing share of the national consciousness. A new Pew Research Center survey of 2,048 adults finds that about two-thirds of the public (66%) believes there are “very strong” or “strong” conflicts between the rich and the poor—an increase of 19 percentage points since 2009.

Source: Pew Research Poll

Not only have perceptions of class conflict grown more prevalent; so, too, has the belief that these disputes are intense. According to the new survey, three-in-ten Americans (30%) say there are “very strong conflicts” between poor people and rich people. That is double the proportion that offered a similar view in July 2009 and the largest share expressing this opinion since the question was first asked in 1987.

...

The biggest increases in perceptions of class conflicts occurred among political liberals and Americans who say they are not affiliated with either major party. In each group the proportion who say there are major disagreements between rich and poor Americans increased by more than 20 percentage points since 2009.

While the survey results show a significant shift in public perceptions of class conflict in American life, they do not necessarily signal an increase in grievances toward the wealthy. It is possible that individuals who see more conflict between the classes think that anger toward the rich is misdirected. Nor do these data suggest growing support for government measures to reduce income inequality.

In fact, other questions in the survey show that some key attitudes toward the wealthy have remained largely unchanged. For example, there has been no change in views about whether the rich became wealthy through personal effort or because they were fortunate enough to be from wealthy families or have the right connections.

A 46% plurality believes that most rich people “are wealthy mainly because they know the right people or were born into wealthy families.” But nearly as many have a more favorable view of the rich: 43% say wealthy people became rich “mainly because of their own hard work, ambition or education,” largely unchanged from a Pew survey in 2008.

The interesting thing about this survey is that in spite of President Obama's, Vice-President Joe Biden's, and former Speaker Of the House Pelosi's coordinated attacks on Capitalism and the Free Enterprise System... Americans are aware that people are wealthier than others - but they don't BLAME them any MORE for their wealth in 2011 than they did in 2009.

I guess we live in interesting times when a polling organization feels the need to determine if we HATE successful people more now than we did previously. In spite of the best efforts of of US Politicians, Occupy Wall Street, Unions, Communist Party USA, and USA Nazi Party members, awareness of the concern has increased, but the anger, the vitriol, the 'hoped for' violence has not happened.

This is most likely attributed to one of two things:

Democrat Party leadership legislation has tainted its message of 'Hope and Change' to the down-trodden, tired, and otherwise 'financially beaten-up' citizens of America. You can TELL people that you're 'for them' but if you create policies to the contrary, well, most people are going catch on sooner, vs. later.
Or, much to the dismay of Progressive folks in places of power, Americans still believe in the American Dream. Somehow, in spite of 50+ years of Progressives running educational institutions teaching children how "Evil America is", the dream, against all odds - survives.

I don't know which situation applies, perhaps it is a combination of both. The American Dream can not survive if American workers, businesses, and foreign investors fear America is destined for a 99 64/100% chance of bankruptcy. We, of course, became 'morally bankrupt' YEARS ago, but why beat a dead horse? The bad news is that it wastes you time, the good news is that the horse doesn't really seem to mind it so much...

All I do know is that hearing the President ask for an additional $1.2 TRILLION to keep the government running past the 2012 elections (better sweep this under the rug NOW, lest it become an uncomfortable Election Issue), I'm thinking we should be done kicking the problem down the street.

Better yet, perhaps we should get OFF the street we're currently on?

The Congress and White House have increased our National Debt by 43% in the first three years of the Obama Presidency. I heard this particular bit of news from CBS (yes, Bob said it best, "the Times they are a-Changin")...

The debt was $10.626 trillion on the day Mr. Obama took office. The latest calculation from Treasury shows the debt has now hit $14.639 trillion.

It's the most rapid increase in the debt under any U.S. president.

The national debt increased $4.9 trillion during the eight-year presidency of George W. Bush. The debt now is rising at a pace to surpass that amount during Mr. Obama's four-year term.    Source: CBS News


'Spending yourself' into prosperity hasn't worked EVER in the history of mankind - despite what Paul Krugman over at the New York Times says.

I know this to be true as I've spent more than I've earned for YEARS.  If spending your way to prosperity worked, I'd own Rhode Island. Only problem with owning Rhode Island? As it turns out, it's NOT actually an island.  Don't believe me, look it up! Dang, that ain't right...

On second thought, I've got to spend MUCH more money so I can buy Manhattan. I'm pretty sure that it IS an island, but unfortunately, I think it'll be big-time expensive. I'd better spend a LOT of money soon, 'cause with all that Global Climate Change going on, Manhattan's gonna be a reef within the next ten years.

Man, I just can't get a break... Anybody know how much mountain ranges are going for - I may need to set my sights a bit higher.

"See ya flatlanders..."

Up... Chuck!

2012-01-11T17:47:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm not cool any more (I'm not sure if I EVER was, but I'll leave this for my kids to determine). I don't pick up on trends, fads, or fashions since they aren't really that important to me. I do not read 'People', 'Us', 'Time', 'Cosmopolitan', or, hard as it is to believe, the 'National Enquirer'.

I have an unhealthy distrust for 'all things Hollywood' as I believe that actors who read lines which are written for them are, in general, not to be trusted when speaking about anything affecting national security, presidential politics, or scientific matters. (Matt Damon springs to mind...)

It has recently come to my attention however that there is ONE man who is different. His name? "Chuck Norris"

I learned much about Chuck Norris earlier this year while shopping at Kohl's for clothing for my boys. I hadn't seen Chuck Norris in years (except hawking that multi-purpose Power Gym). I thought Chuck's celebrity career ended when "Walker, Texas Ranger" did. But there I was at Kohl's, looking at Chuck Norris' face plastered on T-Shirts everywhere, and accompanied by 'manly' expressions regarding the amount of 'manliness' embodied in a single man, yes, THE man -- Chuck Norris. Man, oh man...

I had no idea of the phenomena I almost missed. In case you've been living in a cave also, check out the following (so you'll be 'cool' enough for your kids to be seen with):

TOP CHUCK NORRIS FACTS:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming 'Law' and 'Order' are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none."

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he's sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse.

When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Chuck Norris responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?"

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and the 'Chuck Norris'.

Chuck Norris is why Waldo hides.

And just in case you wanted to prove the strength of your 'kitchen appliance'; the ultimate test MUST be: the 'Chuck Norris Will It Blend' Test:

I've got to go work on my abs now (a.k.a.: the snack machine calls to me once more...)

Before I sign off, in case you're wondering, I now own two Chuck Norris T-Shirts, although mine are X-Large (unlike Chuck's).

His size would probably be called, simply, 'Chuck Norris'.

One size does NOT fit all.

Ain't that the truth?

Through the Looking Glass...

2012-01-09T17:10:00.005-05:00

Cheshire Cat: If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.

Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, no no no...

Cheshire Cat: Or, you could ask the March Hare, in that direction.

Alice: Oh, thank you. I think I'll see him...

Cheshire Cat: Of course, he's mad, too.

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.

Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here.
[laughs maniacally; starts to disappear]

Cheshire Cat: You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself.

"Most everyone's mad here..." (Ain't THIS the truth?)

I didn't plan on posting anything today after running a marathon chasing Margaret Sanger's 'in context' quotes for this morning's earlier entry, but sometimes, life throws you the oft-unexpected 'curve'.

By the pricking of my thumbs, something 'curvy' this way comes...

Reported last night online at The Telegraph:

The White House covered up an Alice in Wonderland-themed Halloween party staged by film director Tim Burton and actor Johnny Depp for fear of creating the wrong impression during a recession, a new book on the Obamas has claimed.

Depp greeted guests in the costume he had worn in a film version of the Lewis Carroll story released around the same time by Burton, who was given carte blanche to transform the state dining room into a Mad Hatter's tea party in "his signature creepy-comic style".
A long table was "set with antique-looking linens, enormous stuffed animals in chairs, and tiered serving plates with treats like bone-shaped meringue cookies", writes New York Times reporter Jodi Kantor in The Obamas, which is released on Tuesday. Fruit punch was served in blood vials at the bar, she adds.

...

The White House press corps was allowed to report on more modest festivities earlier that day for Washington-area school children, but did not release details of the more glamorous festivities that occurred later for what was the Obamas' first Halloween in office in 2009.

Okay, a couple of things which do NOT bother me about the White House Halloween Party 2009:

If this was a BIG deal back in 2009 we should have talked about it THEN. Last time I looked, it was 2010, oops, make that 2012. Personally, I don't care any more. Over the past several years I've become numb to goofy, misguided, tacky, and inappropriate actions taken by the Obama Administration.
Plus, putting things in context; in 2009 we were still waiting for the 'Hopee / Changee' magic to kick in. I don't think it would have been a huge story back THEN, let alone coverage of this because of a book published in 2012? No, I don't give a flip.
When I first read this report, I thought it was a scam. Why? Because it was just too perfect. The story detail above includes: "The cover-up!", "Silencing of the Press Corpse" (yes, this is a joke - if you get it, just chuckle quietly along with me), "Movie Stars!", "Chewbacca!", "Johnny Depp", and lastly, "Michelle Obama" dressed as some kind of "Leopard Woman".
Seriously, can Halloween 2009 in the White House get any MORE stereotypical than the above?

Is the story being touted on the Telegraph online 'Historically Accurate'? I don't know. I don't care. I fear we have greater issues facing our nation than how the Obama White House celebrated Halloween in 2009.

Things in 2012 which, at a glance, are TRULY scary:

A nuclear Iran
A $15+ TRILLION National Debt
15% of All Americans are on Food Stamps (Another Record!)
Second-Hand 'Snoring' may be killing my wife
It'll cost me $50,000 to clone "Good Dog Kelly"

Bottom line is, whether the Obama family and staff recreated the entire "Alice in Wonderland" set, or not, in the People's House? I don't care.

If these same folks want to dress up like the "Bevery Hillbillies" and jump up and down in Jethro Bodine's "Cee-ment Pond" - again, I do not care.

So then the question remains: What should I care about?

Oh, I dunno, I guess I have a general sense of unease about the Nation my / your kids will inherit.

I worry that the declining size of the Nation's workforce will be unable to provide for 'Seasoned Citizens' who have the audacity to live longer than their parents did. And since no one is actually attempting to FIX Social Security or Medicare, things will only get worse for the folks who handed over the keys to the Nation to us. We, of course, have managed to find every tree along the roadway to drive into.

I fear that ObamaCare will be the "OnRamp" to the Complete Lives' System, as seen through the eyes of Ezekial Emanuel, the guy who worked behind the scenes to take-over an additional one-sixth of the US economy for the President.

I worry that we have become a Godless Nation whose only claim to fame is that we were 'once great'.

Many of you may have the same concerns I do. Others, I fear, stand on the other side of Alice's Looking Glass and see no more than their own reflection.

I look through the glass. As I write this - I do not like what I see.

If only it were 'just a Hollywood movie'; it would be over in a couple of hours, but we have MONTHS to go. And we'd better not fall asleep again. Once you're through the glass, getting back is hard. Just ask Alice.

Meet Maggie!!!

2012-01-07T13:19:00.001-05:00

Aw, come on, knock it off! You KNOW what I asked for!!!

So I sent my crack team from the MoosRoom to get a very specific image online and they come back with...

A cartoon image of Maggie Simpson.

Super, thanks guys...

Honestly, if I PAID them anything, I'd want the money back; assuming, of course, they could remember where they put it...

Well, if you want something done, you'd better do it yourself.

Never send a calf to do a cow's job.

Hold on, I'll be right back.

Holding...

Holding...

Holding...

Here we are - here's our girl now!

Margaret Sanger - Founder of Planned Parenthood with excerpts from: "Woman in the New Race", published, 1920

Infanticide did not go out of fashion with the advance from savagery to barbarism and civilization. Rather, it became, as in Greece and Rome, a recognized custom with advocates among leaders of thought and action. So did abortion, which some authorities regard as a development springing from infanticide and tending to supersede it as a means of getting rid of undesired children. 17

As progress is made toward civilization, infanticide, then, actually increased. This tendency was noted by Westermarck, who also calls attention to the conclusions of Fison and Howitt (in Kamilaroi and Kurnai). “Mr Fison who has lived for a long time among uncivilized races,” says Westermarck, “thinks it will be found that infanticide is far less common among the lower savages than among the more advanced tribes.”

SOURCE: Women's Struggle for Freedom

...

What material is there for a greater American race? What elements make up our present millions? Where do they live? How do they live? In what direction does our national civilization bend their ideals? What is the effect of the “melting pot” upon the foreigner, once he begins to “melt”? Are we now producing a freer, juster, more intelligent, more idealistic, creative people out of the varied ingredients here?

Before we can answer these questions, we must consider briefly the races which have contributed to American population.

Among our more than 100,000,000 population are Negroes, Indians, Chinese and other colored people to the number of 11,000,000. There are also 14,500,000 persons of foreign birth. Besides these there are 14,000,000 children of foreign-born parents and 6,500,000 persons whose fathers or mothers were born on foreign soil, making a total of 46,000,000 people of foreign stock. Fifty per cent of our population is of the native white strain.

Source: The Materials of the New Race

...

Women who have a knowledge of contraceptives are not compelled to make the choice between a maternal experience and a marred love life; they are not forced to balance motherhood against social and spiritual activities. Motherhood is for them to choose, as it should be for every woman to choose. Choosing to become mothers, they do not thereby shut themselves away from thorough companionship with their husbands, from friends, from culture, from all those manifold experiences which are necessary to the completeness and the joy of life. 16

Fit mothers of the race are these, the courted comrades of the men they choose, rather than the “slaves of slaves.” For theirs is the magic power—the power of limiting their families to such numbers as will permit them to live full-rounded lives. Such lives are the expression of the feminine spirit which is woman and all of her—not merely art, nor professional skill, nor intellect; but all that woman is, or may achieve.

Source: Two Classes of Women

...

The woman of the workers knows what society does with her offspring. Knowing the bitter truth, learned in unspeakable anguish, what shall this woman say to society? The power is in her hands. She can bring forth more children to perpetuate these conditions, or she can withhold the human grist from these cruel mills which grind only disaster. 15

Shall she say to society that she will go on multiplying the misery that she herself has endured? Shall she go on breeding children who can only suffer and die? Rather, shall she not say that until society puts a higher value upon motherhood she will not be a mother? Shall she not sacrifice her mother instincts for the common good and say that until children are held as something better than commodities upon the labor market, she will bear no more? Shall she not give up her desire for even a small family, and say to society that until the world is made fit for children to live in, she will have no children at all?
SOURCE: When Should a Woman Avoid Having Children

...

LABOR seems instinctively to have recognized the fact that its servitude springs from numbers. Seldom, however, has it applied its knowledge logically and thoroughly. The basic principle of craft unionism is limitation of the number of workers in a given trade. This has been labor’s most frequent expedient for righting its wrongs. Every unionist knows, as a matter of course, that if that number is kept small enough, his organization can compel increases of wages, steady employment and decent working conditions. Craft unionism has succeeded in attaining these insofar as it has been able to apply this principle. It has failed insofar as it has been unable to apply it.   1

The weakness of craft unionism is that it does not carry its principle far enough. It applies its policy of limitation of numbers only to the trade. In his home, the worker, whether he is a unionist or non-unionist, goes on producing large numbers of children to compete with him eventually in the labor market.

Even with the temporary advantages gained by the wiping out of millions of workers in the Great War, labor’s problem remains unsolved. It has now, as always, to contend with the crop of young laborers coming into the market, and with the ever-present “labor-saving” machine which, instead of relieving the worker’s situation, makes it all the harder for him to escape. Fewer laborers are needed to-day for a given amount of production and distribution than before the invention of these machines. Yet, owing to the increase in the number of the workers, labor finds itself enslaved instead of liberated by the machine.

SOURCE: Will Birth Control Help the Cause of Labor?

...

This is the dawn. Womanhood shakes off its bondage. It asserts its right to be free. In its freedom, its thoughts turn to the race. Like begets like. We gather perfect fruit from perfect trees. The race is but the amplification of its mother body, the multiplication of flesh habitations—beautified and perfected for souls akin to the mother soul.   16

The relentless efforts of reactionary authority to suppress the message of birth control and of voluntary motherhood are futile. The powers of reaction cannot now prevent the feminine spirit from breaking its bonds. When the last fetter falls the evils that have resulted from the suppression of woman’s will to freedom will pass. Child slavery, prostitution, feeblemindedness, physical deterioration, hunger, oppression and war will disappear from the earth. 17

In their subjection women have not been brave enough, strong enough, pure enough to bring forth great sons and daughters. Abused soil brings forth stunted growths. An abused motherhood has brought forth a low order of humanity. Great beings come forth at the call of high desire. Fearless motherhood goes out in love and passion for justice to all mankind. It brings forth fruits after its own kind. When the womb becomes fruitful through the desire of an aspiring love, another Newton will come forth to unlock further the secrets of the earth and the stars. There will come a Plato who will be understood, a Socrates who will drink no hemlock, and a Jesus who will not die upon the cross. These and the race that is to be in America await upon a motherhood that is to be sacred because it is free.
SOURCE: The Goal

Seriously, where to begin?

Perhaps a shower? Not now, I've got to get this particular chore done.

Margaret Sanger subscribed to the principles of Eugenics. What are Eugenics Principles?

Spending a moment with Dictionary.com we find the following:

eugenics (yjĕn`ĭks), study of human genetics genetics, and of methods to improve the inherited characteristics, physical and mental, of the human race. Efforts to improve the human race through bettering housing facilities and other environmental conditions are known as euthenics.

Sir Francis Galton Galton, Sir Francis , 1822–1911, English scientist, founder of eugenics; cousin of Charles Darwin. He turned from exploration and meteorology (where he introduced the theory of the anticyclone) to the study of heredity and eugenics (a term that he coined). Galton introduced the term eugenics, is usually regarded as the founder of the modern science of eugenics; his emphasis was on the role of factors under social control that could either improve or impair the qualities of future generations.

Modern eugenics is directed chiefly toward the discouragement of propagation among the unfit (negative eugenics) and encouragement of propagation among those who are healthy, intelligent, and of high moral character (positive eugenics). Such a program involves many difficulties, especially that of defining which traits are most desirable.

The first half of the 20th cent. saw extreme coercive application of such principles by governments ranging from miscegenation laws and enforced sterilization of the insane in the United States and other nations to the Holocaust, the name given to the period of persecution and extermination of European Jews by Nazi Germany. Although anti-Semitism in Europe has a long history, persecution of German Jews began with Hitler's rise to power in 1933.

Regulated eugenics continues in some parts of the world; China enacted restrictions on marriages involving persons with certain disabilities and diseases in 1994.

Margaret Sanger, the Founder of Planned Parenthood, believed that if you control the reproductive capabilities of the people who were having children, you could control the very FUTURE. In her Progressive Utopian view, only the best, and brightest parents would pro-create, giving rise to future generations chocked full of Platos, Newtons, Socrates, and Jesus.

POINT OF CLARIFICATION:  I'm sorry, but after almost 100 YEARS of Planned Parenthood, I'm not seeing a whole lot of well-meaning Geniuses running around making our Nation a 'better place'.

Might this Utopian 'disconnect' indicate that Margaret Sanger was, in the best case scenario, mis-guided, or at worst, a Racist-Idiot bent upon the extermination of what Hitler (another Eugenics-guy) later referred to as 'sub-Humans'?  Adolph should have checked HIS DNA prior to building those ovens of his (LINK).

"Now seating, table for one, Mr. Hitler, table for one?"

Margaret was a Progressive Elitist Big-Brained type who, "As any enlightened person will know", (she used this phrase a LOT in her writings) also happened to be a moron.

This does not, however, explain why our government continues to fund roughly $500 MILLION per year to HER progeny, Planned Parenthood. Why would the US Government continue to pour money into an organization whose Mother was Racism, and whose Father was Arrogance?

I've got a single-fingered salute saved for Ms. Sanger. It's a shame she'll never see me give it to her. I'm thinking there's another guy who's been having tea with her on a regular basis in a fiery, smelly, and 24x7 scary place.

Heil Hitler - Heil Sanger - Heil Progressives!

"What the heck am I pointing to? How do I 'Heil myself?
Do you like my gloves? They are made from Russians."

Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger, Progressives, Liberals deciding who 'deserves' to live and who 'ought to' die? And paying for these decisions with my / our tax dollars?

Not just 'NO'.

Oh, Heil No!

Death Merchants vs. Disney World!!! (A Choice)

2012-01-06T07:55:00.006-05:00

The above photo was 'borrowed' from the site, "Black Women for Wellness.org"
Anyone want to hazard a guess as to what's wrong with this picture???

I stayed away away from today's topic for a long time. I didn't want to go here. But some things are better 'out' than 'in', I guess...

Okay, time to let it out.

I read last night that Planned Parenthood Federation of America received $ 487.4 MILLION from the Federal Government 'grants and funding' for the fiscal year ending June 2010. Approximately 90% of this$ 487.4 MILLION in funding was paid out via Medicaid.

The source of our Federal Government's funding, of course, is you.

Questions spring to mind:

What services are the Feds buying from Planned Parenthood Federation of America (a.k.a.: PPFA)?
What are the 'buying patterns' of the Feds on our behalf?
How many lives were 'created or saved' by the sterling efforts of PPFA?
What core tenents drive Planned Parenthood? (Another post for another day)

Quickly turning to the MicroSoft Excel Program for the 'Higher Math' aspects of this post...

SOURCE: Planned Parenthood Annual Reports and PPFA Fact Sheets

Okay, let's now look at how efficiently our Federal Government is purchasing the 'snuffs' on our behalf:

As any one can PLAINLY see, it costs almost 50% MORE in 2010 to murder the 'average unborn' in 2010 than it did in 2009 (based upon Federal Investments in Planned Parenthood during the most-recent reported period).

When investing MY money, I want results AT LEAST consistent with 'past performance'. I know it's hard to invest in an Obama economy, but social engineering is the ONE place I thought my investment would be relatively safe.

However, in this instance, given the Federal investment level in 2010 of $487.4 MILLION, I would have expected at minimum:

$ 487,400,000 / 1,095 = 445,257.1 confirmed KILLs

(2010 Spending / 2009 'Kill Cost' = 2010's projected cost per kill)

This is yet another example of how inefficient, and unaccountable Federal Funding is.

If past trends continue throughout Fiscal 2011, it COULD cost as much as $2,218.01 per abortion ($1,479 x 1.5 = $2,218.01).

This is completely unacceptable! We cannot continue to spend THIS kind of money while getting continually diminished returns.

I do, however, have a suggestion which will instill 'Fairness' and cost-efficiencies back into our Federal Funding of Planned Parenthood.

Here's the idea:

(It's a BIG idea as indicated by the size of the print)

First, allocate Fiscal Year 2010's $1,479 'cost per abortion' back to the expectant-but-I-really-want-an-abortion-Mother as follows:

Fly the mother wishing to abort to Disney World for three days (all expenses paid!)
Provide her meals, lodging, and a three-day park hopper pass (you've got almost $ 1,500 to play with, after all)
Encourage her to ride Space Mountain

Second, at the end of the three days of viewing happy, whole, and loved children, perhaps the 'Mom' will re-think her decision to abort her unborn child and either keep said child, or offer the child up for adoption to parents who want to share their lives with a child.

Third (this is where the 'Fairness' comes in), if, at the end of three days the mother hasn't had a miscarriage from all the 'bumping around' on Space Mountain, she has a pretty good idea that God wants her to keep this child.

Fourth, SHE, with a little of God's help, gets to make the decision without the nice folks at PPFA giving her THEIR completely unbiased advice.

Do I actually subscribe to the ideas above? No, I don't. However, I allowed myself to spend a few moments channeling my 'Inner Liberal'...

It is the 'Fair' thing to do, after all.

Another interesting (yet unhappy) statistic from current funding of Planned Parenthood as it pertains to Adoption Referrals:

According to PPFA’s annual report for fiscal year 2007-2008, in 2007 Planned Parenthood’s “adoption referrals to other agencies” totaled 4,912.

In Fiscal Year 2010 that number was 841, a decrease of 82.8 percent.

All things considered, my lunatic idea above does sound a 'bit more fair' doesn't it? At least sending the Mom to Disney MIGHT give the kid a fighting chance. (As long as she doesn't do the Runaway Train ride - that thing nearly killed ME.)

The thing about crazy ideas is that sometimes they don't look so 'nuts' when surrounded by other 'more lunatic' ideas which have set the bar so very, very high for 'goofiness'...

Oh, I KNOW that Planned Parenthood does things OTHER than JUST kill the unborn - it's not like I live in a barn, or something - get a grip!

However, the things which most people DON'T know about Planned Parenthood?

Yeah, they'll keep you up at night.

Next week. Aloha.

Have a nice weekend folks,

Moo

Meet the 2012 Fisker Karma!

2012-01-02T07:37:00.003-05:00

The All New 2012 Fisker Karma!

Please, I need a moment. A moment alone.

A moment of 'ME' time so that I might continue to gaze lustily at the Fisker Karma above. Seriously, as I gaze upon this limited-production electric sex-mobile, I wonder -- can it get any better than this?

Look at the great lines, the low profile, the sneering mustachioed front end (must be Italian?), and, dare I say it? The awesome rubber. The hybrid Fisker Karma screams, "Take me! Take me now!!!" to the unsuspecting automotive ogler passing by.

She's pretty, she's expensive, and she's waiting; waiting, for someone JUST like you! Hold on, am I describing a car, or a prostitute, or, something worse, both???

In reality both, and there's only one (or two, or three, or four, ah, seven) itsy-bitsy problems with this can-be-had-for-cash-bad-Karma-mobile:

MSRP on this Hybrid is $ 103,000
It weighs over 5,800 pounds (same as a Ford Expedition)
In gas-only mode it gets 20 MPG
In all-electric mode it gets 56 MPG-e (for 32 miles worth of charge)
Fisker received $529 Million in Taxpayer Dollars (because of its 'greeness')
All Fisker Karmas are being built, right here, in... Finland (last I checked, this was not a US Territory, so, um, why did they get $529 MILLION of our money?)
And, lastly (and this is a BIG ONE), as of December 30, 2011, Fisker is recalling all of the 239 Karmas, because of the risk of Fire ("Holy Chevrolet Volt, Batman!!! They've done it again!")

As found on New York Times Online: Fisker Automotive is recalling all 239 of its 2012 Karma luxury plug-in hybrid cars because of a fire hazard, according to a report filed with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Prices on the 2012 model start at $103,000, including the destination charge.

In a report filed recently on the agency’s Web site, Fisker said some hose clamps were not properly positioned, which could allow a coolant leak. “If coolant enters the battery compartment an electrical short could possibly occur, causing a thermal event within the battery, including a possible fire in the worse case,” the company told the safety agency.

Fisker said the problem was discovered on Dec. 16, when workers at the Valmet Automotive assembly plant in Finland noticed coolant dripping. Fisker said it was not aware of any consumer complaints, warranty claims or “any other reports related to this condition.” It said fewer than 50 vehicles were in the hands of consumers.

Then, from DailyTech Online: The official EPA numbers came out recently for the Fisker Karma and they were much, much lower than many expected. The EPA rated the Karma at a scant 20 mpg on gasoline. Considering the car was supposed to be a green hybrid, it's rating is disappointing, especially when you think that other hybrids of the size can achieve much better numbers. The all-electric (battery) range is rated at 32 miles for a combined 56 mpg-e.

If you were wondering why a car with a hybrid power plant was rated so low on gasoline power, it’s due to the massive weight of the Karma. The Karma has a curb weight of 5,300 pounds. Most of the weight is due to the heavy and expensive lithium-ion battery pack that motivates the Karma in electric mode.

With the low economy rating of the Karma and the fact that Fisker was one of the green firms that was loaned $529 million in federal funds, some are afraid it will be the next Solyndra. Solyndra is the solar firm that went under after receiving Federal funds for operation. While the EPA thinks its numbers for the Karma are accurate, Henrik Fisker thinks that drivers will see a better driving range.

So once again, the Federal Government places its bets on yet another manufacturer of a technology which it wants to see as a 'Winner' in the marketplace. Free Markets are sooooo over-rated.

The only problem is, of course: The Feds spend OUR money on THEIR 'hunches' (or other progressive 'feel good' projects).

Why is this so? Why do the FEW (1%) continue to take from the MANY (99%)? (Sorry, had to go there...) Let's go straight to the man in charge of determining Economic Outcomes in the United States of America, Mr. George Soros...

Oops, this of course, would be President Barack Obama. When asked about the whole 'Solyndra' thing, President Obama responded (October 3rd, 2011): "the loan guarantee program is important to developing clean-energy technologies and demonstrating that that U.S. can be an exporter of manufactured goods, rather than only an importer."

[Moos Note: But by selecting to invest in Finland's Fisker, isn't the President banking on the U.S. to be an 'importer' of these manufactured goods, rather than an 'exporter'?]

"If you look at the overall portfolio of loan guarantees that have been provided, overall it's doing well," Obama said. "What we always understood is that not every single business is going to succeed in clean energy. But if we want to compete with China which is pouring hundreds of billions of dollars into this space, if we want to compete with other countries that are heavily subsidizing the industries of the future, we have to make sure that our guys here in the United states of America at least have a shot.

[Moos Note: Well, as long as China is 'pouring hundreds of billions of dollars into this space'... Cool! We should too, right? Hey, wait a minute, don't WE borrow a LOT of money from the Chinese? So, we borrow money from China to keep up with the, um, investments, of China? That's like spending more money to keep from going bankrupt - yes, we've done this too...]

Now there are going to be some failures, and Solyndra is an example." - President Barack Obama, October 3, 2011.

Great, this clears it all up for me! The President acknowledges that there will be failures, and as long as he's not personally paying for them... We, as a Nation, are pretty much Good-to-Go!

It seems extremely odd that so many of the ventures this Administration has invested in have 'gone up in flames' (either financially, or, quite 'literally'). Re-visit the Chevy Volt discussion linked above for more detail here.

I do, however, take comfort knowing that this President wants an additional four years to select the winners and losers in the technology sectors which HE feels 'good' about, as this permits an advantage to US.

Here's the premise: If he could tell us in advance of a company receiving their Federal welfare check, we will have the opportunity to invest in the firm, then sell out nine months later, prior to their going belly up? Shoot, the folks in Congress have been doing this legally for years - how about giving us kids a chance to beef up our 401Ks for the next four years or so?

I hear lots of talk about 'Fairness' coming out of DC, but I wonder, when will we (99%) benefit from the Beneficence of the People's House?

Since when is 'Fairness' a single-sided equation?

Dim Bulbs... a.k.a.: Fear and Loathing in DC (& AC)

2011-12-30T18:01:00.002-05:00

How to change a broken light bulb, as envisioned by Thomas A. Edison:

Turn off electricity to fixture housing broken bult to prevent an inadvertent flow of electrical current into your body,
Firmly grasp base of bulb with one hand and begin turning said base counter-clockwise until bulb is removed from fixture while holding fixture 'neck' with your other hand,
Remove bulb, wrap broken bulb in newspaper, carefully pick up, or sweep any glass fragments from the floor, and deposit bulb and shards into nearest trash receptacle.
To install new bulb, reverse the order and direction of Step 2 and reinsert new, unbroken bulb into fixture
Enjoy modern electrical convenience of 'incandescent light' in your home for pennies a day
Have an icy cold amber-colored beverage to celebrate your resourcefulness!

How to change a broken light bulb, as mandated by your Democratically-led Congress, as legislated in 2007, effective January 2012:
(You'll want to keep this simple-to-follow set of guidelines handy for when you break your FIRST CFL light bulb!)

SOURCE: U.S. Environmental Protection Agency January 25, 2011

What to Do if a Compact Fluorescent Light (CFL) Bulb or Fluorescent Tube Light Bulb Breaks in Your Home

Fluorescent light bulbs contain a small amount of mercury sealed within the glass tubing. When a fluorescent bulb breaks in your home, some of this mercury is released as mercury vapor. The broken bulb can continue to release mercury vapor until it is cleaned up and removed from the residence.

To minimize exposure to mercury vapor, EPA recommends that residents follow the cleanup and disposal steps described below. This cleanup guidance represents the minimum actions recommended to clean up a broken CFL, and will be updated as EPA identifies more effective cleanup practices.

Before Cleanup

Have people and pets leave the room, and avoid the breakage area on the way out.
Open a window or door to the outdoors and leave the room for 5‐10 minutes.
Shut off the central forced‐air heating/air conditioning (H&AC) system, if you have one.
Collect materials you will need to clean up the broken bulb:
Stiff paper or cardboard
Sticky tape (e.g., duct tape)
Damp paper towels or disposable wet wipes (for hard surfaces)
Glass jar with a metal lid (such as a canning jar) or a sealable plastic bag(s)

CLEANUP AND DISPOSAL OVERVIEW
The most important steps to reduce exposure to mercury vapor from a broken bulb are:

1. Before cleanup

a. Have people and pets leave the room.
b. Air out the room for 5‐10 minutes by opening a window or door to the outdoor environment.
c. Shut off the central forced air heating/air conditioning system, if you have one.
d. Collect materials needed to clean up broken bulb.

2. During cleanup

a. Be thorough in collecting broken glass and visible powder.
b. Place cleanup materials in a sealable container.

3. After cleanup

Promptly place all bulb debris and cleanup materials outdoors in a trash container or protected area until materials can be disposed of properly. Avoid leaving any bulb fragments or cleanup materials indoors.
If practical, continue to air out the room where the bulb was broken and leave the heating/air conditioning system shut off for several hours.

Cleanup Steps for Hard Surfaces

Carefully scoop up glass fragments and powder using stiff paper or cardboard and place debris and paper/cardboard in a glass jar with a metal lid. If a glass jar is not available, use a sealable plastic bag.(NOTE: Since a plastic bag will not prevent the mercury vapor from escaping, remove the plastic bag(s) from the home after cleanup.)
Use sticky tape, such as duct tape, to pick up any remaining small glass fragments and powder. Place the used tape in the glass jar or plastic bag.
Wipe the area clean with damp paper towels or disposable wet wipes. Place the towels in the glass jar or plastic bag.
Vacuuming of hard surfaces during cleanup is not recommended unless broken glass remains after all other cleanup steps have been taken. [NOTE: It is possible that vacuuming could spread mercury containing powder or mercury vapor, although available information on this problem is limited.]
If vacuuming is needed to ensure removal of all broken glass, keep the following tips in mind:
Keep a window or door to the outdoors open;
Vacuum the area where the bulb was broken using the vacuum hose, if available; and
Remove the vacuum bag (or empty and wipe the canister) and seal the bag/vacuum debris, and any materials used to clean the vacuum, in a plastic bag.
Promptly place all bulb debris and cleanup materials, including vacuum cleaner bags, outdoors in a trash container or protected area until materials can be disposed of properly.
Check with your local or state government about disposal requirements in your area. Some states and communities require fluorescent bulbs (broken or unbroken) be taken to a local recycling center.
Wash your hands with soap and water after disposing of the jars or plastic bags containing bulb debris and cleanup materials.
Continue to air out the room where the bulb was broken and leave the H&AC system shut off, as practical, for several hours.

Cleanup Steps for Carpeting or Rugs

Carefully scoop up glass fragments and powder using stiff paper or cardboard and place debris and paper/cardboard in a glass jar with a metal lid. If a glass jar is not available, use a sealable plastic bag. (NOTE: Since a plastic bag will not prevent the mercury vapor from escaping, remove the plastic bag(s) from the home after cleanup.)
Use sticky tape, such as duct tape, to pick up any remaining small glass fragments and powder. Place the used tape in the glass jar or plastic bag.
Vacuuming of carpeting or rugs during cleanup is not recommended unless broken glass remains after all other cleanup steps have been taken. [NOTE: It is possible that vacuuming could spread mercurycontaining powder or mercury vapor, although available information on this problem is limited.]
If vacuuming is needed to ensure removal of all broken glass, keep the following tips in mind:
Keep a window or door to the outdoors open;
Vacuum the area where the bulb was broken using the vacuum hose, if available, and
Remove the vacuum bag (or empty and wipe the canister) and seal the bag/vacuum debris, and any materials used to clean the vacuum, in a plastic bag.
Promptly place all bulb debris and cleanup materials, including vacuum cleaner bags, outdoors in trash container or protected area until materials can be disposed of properly. Check with your local or state government about disposal requirements in your area. Some states and communities require fluorescent bulbs (broken or unbroken) be taken to a local recycling center. Wash your hands with soap and water after disposing of the jars or plastic bags containing bulb debris and cleanup materials.
Continue to air out the room where the bulb was broken and leave the H&AC system shut off, as practical, for several hours.

Future Cleaning of Carpeting or Rugs:
(Assuming you continue to live in your Mercury-laden-HAZMAT-infested home...)

Air Out the Room During and After Vacuuming
The next several times you vacuum the rug or carpet, shut off the H&AC system if you have one, close the doors to other rooms, and open a window or door to the outside before vacuuming. Change the vacuum bag after each use in this area.
After vacuuming is completed, keep the H&AC system shut off and the window or door to the outside open, as practical, for several hours.

Actions You Can Take to Prevent Broken Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs
Fluorescent bulbs are made of glass and can break if dropped or roughly handled. To avoid breaking a bulb, follow these general practices:

Always switch off and allow a working CFL bulb to cool before handling.
Always handle CFL bulbs carefully to avoid breakage.
If possible, screw/unscrew the CFL by holding the plastic or ceramic base, not the glass tubing.
Gently screw in the CFL until snug. Do not over‐tighten.
Never forcefully twist the glass tubing.
Consider not using CFLs in lamps that can be easily knocked over, in unprotected light fixtures, or in lamps that are incompatible with the spiral or folded shape of many CFLs.
Do not use CFL bulbs in locations where they can easily be broken, such as play spaces.
Use CFL bulbs that have a glass or plastic cover over the spiral or folded glass tube, if available. These types of bulbs look more like incandescent bulbs and may be more durable if dropped.
Consider using a drop cloth (e.g., plastic sheet or beach towel) when changing a fluorescent light bulb in case a breakage should occur. The drop cloth will help prevent mercury contamination of nearby surfaces and can be bundled with the bulb debris for disposal.

NOTE: This document contains information designed to be useful to the general public. This document does not impose legally binding requirements, nor does it confer legal rights, impose legal obligations, or implement any statutory or regulatory provisions. This document does not change or substitute for any statutory or regulatory provisions. This document presents technical information based on EPA’s current understanding of the potential hazards posed by breakage of mercury‐containing fluorescent lamps (light bulbs) in a typical household setting.

Finally, this is a living document and may be revised periodically without public notice. EPA welcomes comments on this document at any time and will consider those comments in any future revisions of this document.

Yes, you read the above correctly, the EPA states that regarding CFL usage:

Consider not using CFLs in lamps that can be easily knocked over, in unprotected light fixtures, or in lamps that are incompatible with the spiral or folded shape of many CFLs.
Do not use CFL bulbs in locations where they can easily be broken, such as play spaces.

Roughly translated: "Yup, don't use 'em where they 'could ever' break, or anywhere near children, unless of course, you WANT to have some kind of third eye shootin' out of the kid's forehead later in life."

And in case you're wondering, I DID go to the NY State website to read the FAQs on CFLs and the disposal thereof.

Why? I'm a glutton for punishment.

The 'Glut' continues. And as for you, you might want to have one of those amber-beverages right about now, but go ahead, leave the lights off while you do it...

Answers To Common CFL Questions (NY State)
1. How do I know if my lamps are hazardous?
Because of their mercury content, most fluorescent lamps in current use are considered hazardous wastes when taken out of service for disposal. Other lamps that are commonly classified as hazardous waste due to the presence of mercury or lead include high-intensity discharge (HID), neon, mercury vapor, high pressure sodium, and metal halide lamps. If you want to know for sure, you can have them analyzed by a laboratory test called the "Toxicity Characteristic Leaching Procedure (TCLP)." Most major manufacturers are now producing a line of fluorescent lamps which they claim are non-hazardous low-mercury or "green end cap" lamps. When these bulbs are taken out of service, manufacturer's data may be used to help determine if they are a hazardous waste.

2. How do I handle low-mercury fluorescent lamps?
Under Chapter 145, Laws of 2004, "Mercury-Added Consumer Products Law," even low-mercury (green end cap) lamps are subject to certain management standards. Under this law, defined Small Businesses may discard of up to fifteen low-mercury lamps per calendar month. If the non-hazardous lamps are commingled with universal waste lamps, all of the waste is regulated as universal waste. The Department strongly encourages the recycling of any lamps containing mercury.

3. Now that the Universal Waste Rule is available for hazardous waste lamps, must I use it?
No, handlers of hazardous waste lamps may choose between traditional hazardous waste regulations and Universal Waste Rule standards. However, flip-flopping between the two sets to avoid meeting requirements of one or both regulations is not allowed. For example, both management scenarios include storage time limits. Flip-flopping between regulations will not extend storage time.

4. Do hazardous waste lamps count in determining my generator category? Must hazardous waste lamps be indicated on my annual hazardous waste report?
Under traditional hazardous waste regulations, hazardous waste lamps must be counted in determining whether you are a conditionally exempt small quantity generator, a small quantity generator or a large quantity generator; they must also be reported on the generator annual report if you are required to file an annual report. Lamps managed under the Universal Waste Rule are not counted for the purpose of determining generator category, and need not be reported on your hazardous waste report. However, they are counted for regulatory fee purposes.

5. Lamp crushers - I am considering the purchase of a lamp crusher to minimize my waste volume. How is crushing of hazardous waste lamps regulated?
Lamps being managed under the Universal Waste Rule may not be crushed. If you wish to crush your lamps, you will need to manage the lamps under the traditional hazardous waste regulations. This will require that you count the weight of the lamps toward determining hazardous waste generator category, and meet applicable generator, transporter and transfer facility standards. Crushing is considered a form of hazardous waste treatment, and under ordinary hazardous waste generator regulations, hazardous waste lamps may be crushed only if the process is exempt from hazardous waste treatment regulations (6 NYCRR 373-1.1(d)(1)).

Common exemptions that might apply to crushing lamps are: on-site treatment by a conditionally exempt small quantity generator; the first step of a recycling process, if the lamps will be directed to a mercury recycler, or treatment in the tank or container in which the lamps are stored. Generators wishing to use one of the latter two exemptions should seek specific guidance from the Waste Determination & Analysis Section.

The crushed lamps are usually considered hazardous waste for mercury, and sometimes for lead, and must be handled and disposed of in accordance with normal hazardous waste requirements.

Facilities that use in-house bulb crushers should be aware of possible personnel exposures to mercury vapor. EPA has published a study of Drum Top Crushers; the report is available on the right side of this page under "Links Leaving DEC's Website".

6. Transportation - Can I put my lamps in the trash dumpster?
Lamps handled under the Universal Waste Rule cannot be put in the trash dumpster because they would not be handled in a way to minimize breakage. Generators of universal waste lamps can self-transport up to 500 lbs of lamps per shipment to an authorized universal waste handler, or treatment or disposal facility under the provisions of 6 NYCRR Part 364. Conditionally exempt, small or large quantity hazardous waste generators cannot put hazardous waste lamps in the trash dumpster.

7. Under the Universal Waste Rule, do my lamps have to be directed to a recycler?No, lamps may be directed to a treatment or disposal facility if the receiving facility is authorized to accept hazardous waste lamps. However, NYSDEC strongly recommends recycling of hazardous waste lamps to reduce the accumulation of mercury in the environment. A list of fluorescent and HID lamp recyclers is available on this website at the link given at the bottom of this page.

8. How do I get rid of waste lamps from my household?Households are exempt from the ordinary hazardous waste regulations. Lamps discarded by households are also exempt from New York State's Mercury-Added Consumer Products Law. Lamps may legally be disposed as normal household trash if allowed by the municipality, the trash collector and the disposal facility. However, households are encouraged to contact the town or county solid waste management authority to determine whether there are any household hazardous waste collection facilities or events in their community at which hazardous waste lamps are collected, or to contact local lamp recyclers to see if they accept lamps from households.

9. What do I do if I break a compact fluorescent lamp/bulb (CFL) in my home?The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and the U.S. Department of Energy provide guidance on how the general public can clean up a broken CFL. "FAQ - Information on Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs (CFLs) and Mercury" (70 Kb pdf) is available for download.

Sorry for the length of this post, but it was 'touched' by governmental legislation all-over-the-place.

As for me, I've been buying Mr. Edison's bulbs in bulk over the past two years. I'm just hoping that you stocked up too...

Happy New Year's folks, you may want to visit your local hardware store between now and midnight tomorrow.

p.s.: The last bit of irony about this story? CFL Manufacturing is 100% done 'offshore' due to EPA manufacturing regulations in the U.S.!

So while we have to under penalty of law USE them here, we can't MAKE them here. More jobs, 'created and saved', just, somewhere else, of course...

Occupy!!! (Iowa???)

2011-12-28T18:30:00.000-05:00

It was great - Christmas 2012, spent with family, away from work, and away from the regular tedium of 'normal' daily life. Yes, it was pretty much 'all' good.

It was the best "To Mike / From Santa" gift I've given myself in years. A free pass to stay offline for almost six whole days!

Peace on Earth - Goodwill toward Men

I don't know about you, but I didn't turn on a computer for the past six days. Yes, I've missed the company of the laptop LCD's electric glow, but sometimes you've got to cut the cord (albeit it wireless) and rediscover the things which are lasting.

Family,
Friends,
Taking dogs for walks,
Remembering the person you were, and
Revisiting the place(s) and people who made you who you are

I could go on, but you know what I'm saying, right? Yes, I suppose you do.

Today's post, however, is not about Christmas, not about family, and not about whether we are a 'Christian Nation' or not.

It's about Nancy Pelosi hijacking Charles Dickens' quote attributed to Tiny Tim:

"God bless them" - Nancy Pelosi, D, CA
(I believe Tim's entire quote is. "God bless us all, every one", but true to form, Minority Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, got THIS wrong too...)

Madame Speaker continued: "for their spontaneity. It's independent ... it's young, it's spontaneous, and it's focused. And it's going to be effective."

And now with the support of Democratic (and other - below) leadership, Occupy Wall Street is heading to...

The ONE place on Earth where the richest 1% of Americans go to enjoy their 'one percentage-ness':

IOWA

From the Associated Press Online: DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) -- Already they have interrupted Michele Bachmann and drawn a withering putdown from Newt Gingrich as "all noise, no thought."

Now, to the dismay of Iowa Republicans, Occupy activists in Des Moines are vowing to expand their protests as GOP presidential hopefuls converge on the state that speaks first in the race for the party's presidential nomination.

"The 99 percent have woken up and we're not going to take it anymore," Occupy activist Stephen Toothman, of Des Moines, said as an advance guard met Tuesday to decide which candidates to target in the coming week.

Hundreds of Occupy activists from at least 10 states were expected to participate in a "People's Caucus" near the Capitol to plot activities between now and the Jan. 3 caucuses. The activists are promising to interrupt candidates at events and camp out at their Iowa campaign offices. They say they want to change the political dialogue, but critics fear their tactics could tarnish Iowa's reputation for civil political discourse ahead of the contest. Activists say mass arrests are possible.
...

Occupy activists, who came from as far away as New York and Seattle, said the caucuses were largely meaningless because the parties and candidates were overly influenced by wealthy, special interests that led them to ignore key issues.

"The caucuses are really a statement as to where the nation is as a whole. I think this occupation is really a statement that they are dissatisfied with all the choices that we've been given," said Ivan Burghart, an activist from St. Louis who mingled with others at the group's Des Moines headquarters.

Occupy Des Moines organizer Jess Mazour, 24, said protesters wanted candidates to address issues ranging from campaign finance reform to college debt to the home foreclosure crisis. She said the weeklong set of actions marked a new phase for the nationwide Occupy movement, and would be a test of whether activists could flex political muscle as one group.
...

Stephany Hoffelt, a member of Occupy Iowa City, said protesters believed the in-your-face tactics were justified because their message hasn't gotten through in the past.

"It's perfectly appropriate if you were listening to what we were saying," Hoffelt said of the group's chant blasting Bachmann's positions on health care and taxes. "She is part of the 1 percent."

Ah, where to begin?

The 'Occupy Wherever' group appears to be well-funded (for a bunch of poor folks). Shoot, I can't afford to take time off from work to visit the Great State of Iowa and stay in hotels for a week (or more?). Maybe THESE guys are the 1% they keep yakking about? Perhaps they HATE themselves? I don't hate anyone, but honestly, I'm getting tired of them myself...
The OWS folks are upset because they don't believe anyone is listening to their message (whatever IT happens to be 'at the moment' as they're repeat each other as if trapped in some Gregorian Chant nightmare). The lack of exposure, unfortunately, is NOT their problem. Their problem is that we HAVE heard them. And after listening, we stopped listening to them.
The objective, according to Ms. Hoffelt, is to disrupt the free speech of Republican Presidential Candidates in Iowa. This, of course, is coming from the OWS group, which again, is upset that no one is a.) Letting THEM speak, or b.) Listening to THEM
Here's a heartfelt bit of advice for the mental wheelchairs traveling to Iowa 'just to make a fuss'... Get your tickets from wherever you are reading this and fly to: Reagan International Airport. Why? Because Iowa is NOT the source of your discontentment - Washington, DC is. AND (BONUS!) the guy who has been fueling your class warfare rhetoric is THERE. (DISCLAIMER: Actually, the guy who has been supporting your efforts to destroy Capitalism in the U.S. is currently in Hawaii (again) - but, like the 'bad penny' he'll show up in a couple of weeks rested, relaxed, and ready for more mayhem from the White House. Maybe you folks could show up at HIS place in Hawaii? Then follow him back here? Just think of the Capitalist Riches you'll ring up on your 1%-sponsored credit card!)
Lastly, in regard to Madame Pelosi's comment that this ongoing debacle is a 'beautiful, spontaneous event'? The last time I saw a spontaneous movement from the OWS folks, it involved a guy with his butt hunkered down onto the fender of a police car. It WAS spontaneous, but the 'beautiful' adjective does not seem to apply to the 'movement' itself.

As you look across the Nation do you feel more, or less secure, knowing that the highest elected official in the land supports the efforts of the OWS group. These are the people who 'occupy' property which does not belong to them, shout down the free speech of others, and use intimidation to garner an audience for their 'needs, wants, and desires'.

Answer the above question honestly.

If you feel pretty good about the OWS folks and their activities, take a moment to follow this link: A Revolutionary Hope of Christmas.

The above post, 'A Revolutionary Hope for Christmas' is brought to you by the nice folks at Communist Party USA. Proud sponsors, and supporters of Occupy Wall Street.

The story of Christmas, as told by Communists, all in the hope of obtaining 'the greater good' for the oppressed in America.

Ho, ho, ho...

My Christmas Story

2011-12-23T07:29:00.001-05:00

Must keep things in their proper perspective...

Everyone has a special Christmas Story, or Christmas tradition that they want to hand down to their kids.

This is mine.

I am 9 years-old. My Mom brings me to the local 5 and 10 (WAY before WalMart) to pick up a few late-minute Christmas items for the family. I am in the store fewer than two minutes when I see it. It is red. It is shiny. It is meant to be mine. It is meant to be under our tree - with MY name on it.

It is, of course, the Uncle Sam's Cash Register Bank.

(The 'poke your eye out when you fall on it sharp metal nub' on my version was replaced by the impressive 'too wide' red 'puller-thing' shown here...)

It SINGS to me. It calls to me from across the store. I alone must possess it...

There are still a couple of weeks before Christmas, right? And ONLY $7.99?!?! How can my Mom turn me down? I've mentioned before that I have been in Sales for most of my adult life. What I haven't mentioned is that most people who are in Sales in their adult life, started out much earlier in their life, being, 'In Sales'.

Here's the dialogue, as best as I remember it, at least...

Me, "Mom, do you see IT?!"

Mom, "I'm sorry, do I see WHAT?"

Me, "The THING, the THING over THERE...! Can't you see IT?", I say pointing to the shelf that holds my hope for 'Christmas yet to come'.

Mom, "Oh, well, it isn't on your list for Santa, now is it?"

My hopes fall but I quickly recover and press the point further, "But Mom, how could I know?"

Mom, "Know what?"

Me, "That something this WONDERFUL; besides you (Mom), of course... Ever existed? I've never seen anything like it in all of my life. It's, it's... beautiful..." My voice trailed off as my eyes welled with tears all the while staring un-blinkingly at the object of desire.

Mom, "But you know, I think that Santa has already gotten your gifts all ready to go on his sleigh. It's too late to let him know about this now..."

Me, "But Mom, it's the ONE thing I truly want... AND, it will teach me how to be responsible with money. You always say that I need to understand money better, right? It will TEACH me financial responsibility. Look, it even has a display that will tell me how much money I save; and saving money is really important! Right?"

Mom, "Well, I know, but..."

Me, "Mom, I WANT to be responsible! I WANT to save my money! I WANT to be like you and Dad! You guys are my heroes!"

Mom, "Umm..."
[The first overt sign of weakness, she is beginning to fold, now for the clincher...]

Me, "Mom, I WANT you to be proud of me, as I am proud of you and Dad. You guys are the best parents ever. I want to grow up to be a good; NO, I want to be a GREAT parent too - like both you and Dad are."

Mom, "Well, we already have gifts for you from us, and your Grandparents, and your brother, how can I get you this too? It wouldn't be fair to your brother..."

[Rats, hadn't thought of that. Show no weakness, keep moving forward... Head down, keep moving...]

Me, "Mom?"

Mom, "Yes, Michael?"

Me, "Santa delivers gifts Christmas early morning right?"

Mom, "Yes, he does. Why do you ask, because you already know that..."

Me, "Well, I'm thinking; what if we buy this bank, wrap it in Christmas wrapping paper, and slide it under the tree early Christmas morning before anyone else wakes up?

What if we put a gift tag on it that said?:

To: Mike
From: Santa

This way, no one will ever know that we bought the gift here, today, this very moment?"

Mom said, with the hint of a smile crossing her face, "Well, I don't know..."

Me, "Mom, we'll be the ONLY ones who will know! It can work. No! It WILL work! We can do this..."

Mom, "Okay, but it's just between the two of us."

Me, "You've got it Mom, you are the BEST!"

Christmas morning comes and there is an extra gift stashed way back under the tree. It has my name on it. It wis an Uncle Sam's Cash Register Bank. The tag says that it is from the jolly ol' elf himself, 'Santa Claus'. I love Santa. I love my Mom. I love the entire World this Christmas morning.

I still have the bank. It still works. My kids have asked me for it for years, but it's mine, I got it from my Mom. It's still in my room in the house I grew up in.

On Christmas morning I still love the entire World, in spite of all of its warts. Christmas is the one day you can still believe in magic. If you stretch out that magic for more than one day I believe that you will be truly happy.

In our family there is at least one gift under the tree each year tagged as follows,

To: Mike
From: Santa

There is also a gift under the tree tagged,

To: Gail
From: Santa

This is the tradition that I have passed to my family and now I pass it to you. This year, next year, just 'some' year, buy something special for yourself. Buy something for yourself that you know no one else would buy for you and tag it simply,

To: ____________
From: Santa

You've been good all year, you know it, I know it, and Santa knows it too...

Merry Christmas folks,

Mike

Christmas 2011

2011-12-19T17:51:00.005-05:00

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year (and if I don’t get this posted soon), Happy Easter!

Yule (Christmas humor) be happy to hear that the Kane family has thrived yet another twelve months here in the Southern Tier of New York. For those of us counting, this makes roughly 888 months in 'dog years'.

Gail is a New York State licensed Nurse Practitioner (like they say, “Practice Makes Perfect!”). That’s the GOOD news. The BAD news is that the only NP job she could get ‘locally’ happens to be 69 miles away. Monday through Friday Gail lives in an apartment. Yes, she does come home on Friday evening to spend weekends with us, but most of the week she’s ‘hunkered down’ in her apartment in the one place on Earth voted “Most likely to snow” nine months out of the year. This means that she has nine months of excellent snowmobiling opportunities with three which are merely ‘adequate’.

Gail continues to save lives at her medical practice in her role as a Nurse Practitioner. Luckily there is one responsible member of our family who goes out of her way to make the world a better place. Although, as I am typing the Christmas update again this year – hmm? Savings lives vs. typing end of year update letters? I’ll let you be the judge as to which is more important.

Ben is still attending the University at Buffalo. Yes, located in the second-place finalist for the ‘furthest from the sun’ competition in Buffalo, New York. He’s been living on campus since the end of August (i.e.: his room here was CLEAN for almost four months!). We picked him up this past weekend for the Christmas Holiday and brought him home in our old yet-relatively-dependable Chrysler Mini-Van. I walked in his room this morning prior to leaving for work and it looks like ‘he never left’. I think you know what I mean…

Ben was lucky enough to get his Mom’s intelligence. MY gift to him, apparently, is his organizational and room-cleaning skills. Ben is an active member of the Thunder of the East Marching Band. If you go to www.YouTube.com and search for “Thunder Of The East” you can find video of this year’s musical program. Ben is easy to find in the video as he’s the one dressed in ‘blue’ with a big black hat and a white feather. Go ahead, check it out. Oh, and if you ARE able to find him, please let me know. He’s one of the kids carrying a Tenor Saxophone (there appear to be HUNDREDS of them). Although, if you listen very closely, he’ the one playing the ‘Best’. At least, that’s what I hear...

Jonathan (everyone except his parents calls him “Jon”) continues to keep Japan safe on behalf of the US Navy. He has been stationed at Sasebo Fleet Command, Japan, since the end of May, 2011. On good days he handles his eight-hour shift flawlessly as he pilots the Harbor Patrol boat around the naval base. On bad days he does the ‘exact same thing’ for roughly twelve hours per day. On really bad days he does it seven days per week.

The Navy apparently, never gets mad. It gets even. If a member of his unit fouls up, the entire unit gets punished. With proven motivational techniques like these, when he gets out of the Navy, he’ll be very ready for private sector employment, pretty much 'anywhere'. The only major difference, of course, is that he won’t be able to take his 50 caliber gun with him to work (let’s hope not, anyway).

Thanksgiving was hard without him here. I’m dreading our first ‘Blue Christmas’ without the Number 2 son picking up and shaking boxes under the tree. To carry on the tradition, I’m wrapping a Milk-bone in one of the boxes under the tree and let the girls (Kelly and Sandy) dig through the pile – this should approximate the damage Jon typically leaves behind when he is here.

From past letters you may remember that Jon got ‘his own dog’ when he was in High School. Yes, he did. While ‘boy’ is in the Navy, I watch the ‘Woobie’ on his behalf. She’s his dog, but I don’t think that I could box her up in an APO Priority Mail box and ship her out to Japan. I’m not sure, but I think they EAT small dogs over there (although, I could be confusing Japan with Detroit, MI – I do that sometimes). Nah, I’ll hang onto her until he comes back. When he’s going back to the airport I’ll stuff the little fur ball into his Sea Bag. Sea Bag travel is much more humane than traveling by Priority Mail box is. Well, at least the view changes...

Timothy (everyone calls him “Tim”) is working hard in this Sophomore year of high school. He’s sixteen years old, is in Boy Scouts, and is in his third year in the High School Marching Band (he began in Eighth Grade). He is doing well in school, camping AND band. He spent another week in July in a cricket and spider-infested tent at Tuscarora Scout Camp with his dad. The crickets and spiders were very happy. His dad (me), not so much. It was in the upper 90’s – low 100’s for the entire week and the air conditioning in the tent was broken (this, of course, was a joke the air conditioner worked just FINE – once you got the flaps open, of course).

As mentioned above, Tim is follows in his brothers’ musical footsteps by playing the trumpet in school. He continues to play trumpet (we’ve got a family full of hot air – once again, they get that from me) and seems to enjoy it. When he practices, he sounds pretty good – I don’t hear him practice a lot, but he must be doing it more at school because scales actually sound like scales (as opposed to squealing brakes from last year).

Before I forget, I need to mention that Tim is taller than I am. It happened over one week during this past year. The exact week isn’t important. The fact that I am (or USED to be) 6’ 1” and the boy TOWERS over me, is. I’ve begun to call him ‘Gigantor’ around the house. I believe this was a cartoon about a giant robot when I was a kid. He’s not really fond of the name, but since he’s almost 12’ tall, I think it works. I hate looking up to my kids…

As for me, I continue to work selling online advertising on www.cars.com (you should really find your next car there J). My responsibilities have been expanded to include support for the Ithaca and Elmira Markets. I assist the reps we have in place there, as well as two guys in the Binghamton area as well. Instead of working out of my home (like I used to) I get to go to an office with people, and everything! Heck, we even have a break room with a couple of them vending machines.

I continue to write ‘stuff’ online to relax. It’s what I do when I can’t sleep or when I wake up earlier than I need to. I’ve missed having Gail around since March, 2010, I’m going to miss Ben when he goes back to college again and now that Jon’s in the Navy, yeah, I miss him too. Since January 11, 2011, it’s just me and Tim (and the dogs) in the house full-time. Sometimes I think about it a lot when I can’t sleep – could be the reason it’s hard to sleep some nights, I guess.

The house has a bigger hole in it then than it already did. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that the kids are moving on with their educations, lives, and careers – it’s just that I thought they’d stay little forever and hang out with me. For a brief period of time I believed this to be a real possibility.

I guess I forget that once upon a time I grew up and moved away too...

Well, I moved away at least.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a Good Night!

Merry Christmas!

Mike Kane

Red Ryder Revisited

2011-12-19T07:44:00.001-05:00

"tis the season to be jorry ra ra ra ra ra rara ra!" - The Christmas Story

Yes, tis the season.

To be 'jorry'? Sure, why not?

As we prepare to receive a series of heartfelt explicitly-religious-non-specific 'Happy Holidays' wishes at store entrances across America, I'd like to take a moment to thank the Obama Administration for its part in creating the vibrant religious-non-specific holiday Economy we enjoy today.

"Thank you President Obama for everything you have done to make our Yuletide bright!"

I'm sorry, what did you say? You think I'm kidding in my praise of the policies of the man whose greatest claim to fame is the fact that he is not GW Bush?

Oh, for shame! I'm being completely serious.

There are some sectors (I'd use the phrase 'Points of light' but I think someone already did this already) of the economy which are growing at a truly goofy rate.

You might even say that business, in selected industries, is literally booming...

From ABC News Online, December 2nd, 2011: "Americans were big spenders on Black Friday."

Okay, thanks to ABC News for this truly engaging report!

What? You want details as to where the 'big spending' took place?

Well, okay... here they come!

Continuing with the report online: "Numbers from the Federal Bureau of Investigation show an all-time one-day high for background check requests from gun buyers last Friday. There were 129,166 requests to the National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS)–a third more than the previous record of 97,848 on Black Friday 2008, FBI spokesman Stephen Fischer said.

On Black Friday last year, there were 87,061 requests."

...

The reason for the uptick is not clear. “You do see spikes when stuff happens like that shooting in Arizona,” said Ritzer, referring to the shooting of Sen. Gabrielle Giffords in January. “I don’t know what the scare is right now.”

Gun buyers may be on a shopping spree partly because of the economy and its impact on the criminal justice system, suggested Andrew Arulananbam, a spokesman for the National Rifle Association. “They read in the headlines stories about prisoners having furloughs and law-enforcement being laid off,” he said. “They realize it’s going to be up to them to protect themselves and their families.”

But Caroline Brewer, a spokeswoman for the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, said the Black Friday sales surge “might say something about marketing” but didn’t reflect actual patterns in U.S. gun ownership.

“The trend that has been observed for decades now is that fewer and fewer Americans own guns, but those who do own continue to add to their stock,” Brewer said.

She cited the University of Chicago’s General Social Survey, which found that household gun ownership hit its peak in 1977, when 54 percent of American households reported having any guns. By 2010, this number had dropped to 32 percent.

Huh? Funny that gun ownership peaked in 1977, isn't it? What was going on in 1977 that made people feel like they had to go out and purchase weapons?

Who, or what, did we feel that we needed to protect themselves against way back then? The mind empties as clouds reverse their direction and time rolls back to...

1977

Jimmy Carter, Time Magazine's Man of the Year,
January 3, 1977 Publication

If you believe the nice lady quoted above from the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, the sale of these weapons is due to current gun owners purchasing more weaponry (presumably for home defense, or perhaps, a wanton extraterrestrial attack).

The one place gun sales is relatively flat however is in Kennesaw, Georgia - just up the road aways from James Earl Carter's hometown of Plains, Georgia. Why the associated sluggishness in their gun business in 2011? Since 1982, each head of household is legally required to own a firearm.

In fact, according to CityRating.com: The city violent crime rate for Kennesaw in 2009 was lower than the national violent crime rate average by 78.87% and the city property crime rate in Kennesaw was lower than the national property crime rate average by 39.33%.

Let's All 'Go Green' with Kennesaw!!!

In 2009 the city violent crime rate in Kennesaw was lower than the violent crime rate in Georgia by 78.7% and the city property crime rate in Kennesaw was lower than the property crime rate in Georgia by 49.76%.

Since most everyone in Kennesaw is already armed, there's no great rush to purchase more weaponry (no matter what the nice lady quoted from the Brady Center says).

Twenty-nine years after passing its mandatory gun ordinance, Kennesaw continues to enjoy a statistically-low crime rate. In spite of Media predictions in 1982 that the entire town would turn into the OK Corral following the adoption of the law, it appears that the bad guys are 'shopping elsewhere' this, and the past 28 Holiday Seasons.

Americans across the United States are rushing into gun shops to purchase weapons, presumably, for personal, and home, defense (just in time for Christmas???).

The last big jump in gun sales? 2008, following President Obama's election - not that his election had anything to do with it.

2008

Barack Obama, Time Magazine's Person of the Year 2008

It is all just an unexpected coincidence - nothing more should be read into it.

Yeah, okay...

Perhaps I should not be giving the President credit for moving this sector of the Economy, after all? Maybe the credit actually goes to Eric Holder and his Fast and Furious Team? Yes, those folks moved some serious iron on behalf of munitions manufacturers and drug lords south of our border. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

I'll leave you with a couple of visuals today as I possess no further coherent thought on the above. Oh, I could ramble on, but that is for another day when I have more time, more sleep, and more humor. As I conclude this Monday morning, I find myself woefully short on all three.

While looking for artwork for the above post, I tripped across the following photos.

Please enjoy them. I did...

"He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake"
Santa visits Kennesaw, Georgia
Yeah, he's packin'

Liberals keep talking about 'Diversity', but I'm not
sure that this is what they meant...

I made this one myself at www.despair.com
You can make a poster too!
Once you figure out how to get to the DIY portion

No, nothing to do with today's post, but I've had it on my desktop for
about six months an I'm getting tired of looking at it - now it's yours!
Ho, ho, ho!

Christmas Traditions

2011-12-13T07:24:00.001-05:00

Savannah Theatre's 'Christmas Tradition' Show

December 12, 2011, The Savannah Theatre, Savannah, Georgia: "A Christmas Tradition" brings you holiday glitz and glitter with a 2-hour performance. The theatre is transformed into a holiday perfect picture, sharing memories of the Christmas standards that you know and love. Sprinkle in a little comedy and audience participation for the greatest event of the season.

Ah, yes, the Christmas Season is upon us. Local towns, cities, and communities across America prepare to celebrate the time-honored traditions of Christmas. Men and women across the Nation prepare to celebrate the birth of a child in Bethlehem two thousand years ago.

We pause for a moment to reflect upon the meaning of Christmas and we think, we ponder, we wonder...

(Continuing to wonder...)

What, EXACTLY, is wrong with us?

December 12, 2011, The Admiral Theatre Chicago, IL: The Admiral Theatre announced today that any person bringing a new, unwrapped toy today through December 17, 2011 will receive...

A lap dance.

Yes. A dance. On your lap.

In the dark. Courtesy of someone you don't know.

From the post found at CBS online:

CHICAGO (CBS) — If you’re a stingy, Scroogey type at Christmas, the Admiral Theatre has an incentive for you to change your ways.

Yes, that Admiral Theatre.

Beginning Monday and continuing through Saturday, the Admiral is offering a free lap dance to anyone who donates an unused, unwrapped toy.

But you won’t get extra attention if you clear off the shelves at the toy store and come to the Admiral with a big sack on your back. The limit is one lap dance per customer.

...

Last year, the event was accompanied by a seasonal “12 Days of XXX-Mas” celebration, which also featured what the A.V. Club called featured “a stripper-fied rendition of ‘The Nutcracker.’”

The blog, Chicagoist, reported the campaign last year raised five carloads of toys, and they were donated to churches around Albany Park.

By the way, the Admiral, at 3940 W. Lawrence Ave., is open 364 days a year.

It is only closed on Christmas Eve. [Presumably, then, they are OPEN Christmas Day? Super.]
Sigh.
The true meaning of Christmas?

No, I don't think so.

Three things:

Okay, I 'get' it. If the people running the Admiral Theatre can collect five 'truckloads' [that's a LOT of lap dancing...] of toys for underprivileged children in Chicago, I ought to be happy that they are doing something to support 'the kids', right? Yes, I acknowledge the fact that I 'ought to be happy' according to most folks...
To me this business venture smells more of an Ebenezer Scrooge Production than it does of a Jacob Marley Joint. Scrooge WOULD find a way to make a buck by using others, wouldn't he? Using kids and Christmas to bring patrons into your strip club? No, I'm still thinking that this is 'wrong'.
Lastly, as I write this, I hear music from "The Nutcracker" running through my head - coincidence? I don't think so...

"Honey, I have this toy I need to drop off at the 'collection point' downtown. I may be a while. Is there anything you need me to bring back for you?" he asks.

"Oh sweetie, you're such a good man! Hey, you know what?!? I read this blog today and it said that the Admiral Theatre in Chicago is giving away FREE lap dances to everyone who brings in a gift for the kids.  You've been awfully good this year so why don't YOU go and have some strange woman grind on your lap? I mean, it's Christmas and all!"

"Gee honey, that's just swell!" he says as he stuffs the gift from the Dollar Tree into a Target bag and walks to the door...

As you share this Christmas with your family and friends, remember to also share your Blessings with others. Donate to the Marine Corps "Toys for Tots" campaign, toss some folding money into the Salvation Army kettle, shovel a neighbor's driveway after a snowfall, help someone load their groceries into their car, or, perhaps, even help a stranger change a tire when you see them standing, looking perplexed, in an Exxon station parking lot.

As we race headlong toward Christmas, remember the origin of the event we celebrate. Christmas is in rememberance of the birth of Christ. It is not about the lights, the 'lowest sale prices of the year!', the trees, the gifts, or the strippers, who, presumably, will dance on your lap.

It's about God's gift to us - his Son.

I could go on, but why tell you stuff you already know?

You already get it.

Merry Christmas folks!

Oh, in case you don't get the whole 'Christmas-thing'?

Tonight through Thursday, Thursday, Thursday!!!

The Admiral Theatre Proudly Presents...

Three Nights of Ultimate Nude Pillow Fighting!!!

Who will be the next 'Snow Bunny Queen'?

No one I know.

Thank God.

Ripples from Pearl to Paterson

2011-12-07T12:53:00.004-05:00

The Attack
On December 7th 1941, on an otherwise peaceful Sunday morning on a beautiful Hawaiian island, the first wave of Japanese airplanes left 6 aircraft carriers and struck Pearl Harbor a few minutes before 8 AM local time.

In two waves of terror lasting two long hours, they killed or wounded over 3,500 Americans and sank or badly damaged 18 ships - including all 8 battleships of the Pacific Fleet - and over 350 destroyed or damaged aircraft. At least 1,177 lives were lost when the Battleship U.S.S. Arizona exploded and subsequently sank.

However, they did not sink any of US Pacific aircraft carriers and they left most of the fuel needed to win the war in the Pacific.

In one stroke, the Japanese navy scored a brilliant success—and assured their ultimate defeat.

SOURCE: http://www.pearlharbor.org/history-of-pearl-harbor.asp

As I type this it is Tuesday evening, December 6, 2011, around 10pm. I want to sleep but it eludes me. I am not yet ready for slumber. I have one more tale to tell before I close my eyes for the night - one more bit of laundry for the digital clothes line to hang out in the night air before I dream of happier pastures.

Tomorrow (today, as you read this) marks the 70th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Seventy winters have come and gone. Seventy summers have flourished and died. An untold number of men and women who witnessed the carnage of that Sunday morning have taken the horror of the day with them as they breathed their last through the expanse of time.

The story, however, does not end with those who were there, nor with those others who went to war because of the attack. The two hour assault on the U.S. base at Pearl continues to impact America.  It has reached out with its fingers and touched my family.

To be factually correct, it 'created' my family...

Paterson, NJ, 1941
My wife's mother is engaged to a sailor serving in Hawaii. He was a 'local boy'; a good kid who wanted no more than to serve his country, save money for a home, and start a family. They were to be married in the spring of 1943. My wife and I do not know the name of her Mother's fiance, all we know is that he worked in the engine room of the USS Arizona.

He remains at his post with so many other of his brothers in arms. He will be interred within the ship until it ultimately collapses under the combined weights of time, corrosion, and ocean currents. With the assault of Pearl Harbor, the Japanese re-wrote the timeline of history for the World and, most assuredly, myself.

My wife's Mom mourned the loss of her fiance but, as with most wounds, time worked its magic filling in the piece of her which was torn away by the unnatural disaster which was Pearl Harbor. She was engaged to another local boy and was married several years later. Together they had two children, one of whom is my wife.

You see, if Pearl Harbor hadn't happened, I may have never met the woman I call have called 'wife' for the past 25 years.

Would her Mother have had children if the sailor not been lost aboard the USS Arizona?

Would they have met me?

Would I have asked their daughter to marry me?

I don't know. Some things are best not considered too long lest you find yourself trapped in a Star Trek 'Time Paradox' episode. Suffice to say that events of seventy years ago have, and continue, to shape my family today.

Ten years ago my wife and I had the opportunity to visit Pearl Harbor as part of a company-sponsored recognition event.  For our (all-expense-paid!) five-day stay in Hawaii, we had time on our own to explore the island.  On the third day we found our way to Pearl Harbor. I didn't know what to expect. I heard from others that it was both a beautiful 'and a horrible' place. Some people told me that they found peace there while others had difficulty sleeping for several nights following their visit to the site. It could have been the amount of food our employer was feeding us which kept them tossing at night, but I know what it was - it was a profound sense of 'debt'. A debt which I, and I suspect those others, came away knowing that we can never repay.

I won't burden you with the ride to the Arizona Memorial or the stark silence of the place - somethings you need to experience for yourself to understand. All I can tell you is that somewhere on the bronze plaque above the USS Arizona is the name of a man, who but for a series of horrific events, could have been my wife's father, or, perhaps... may not have been any one's father. (Yes, it's that Time Paradox thing again).

One change in the ripple of time changes time forever as it expands and travels outward. Heraclitus (c.535 BC - 475 BC) said, "Nothing endures but change." Several thousand years later, I'm thinking that this long-gone Greek Philosopher summed up things pretty well. Changes brought about by this surprise attack our Nation has touched, and has changed the paths of millions of people in the seventy years since. Our story is but one of them.

I'll sign off now.  The clock tells me that I am due to sleep and work awaits when the winter sun rises again in the morning.

Continuing the ripple begun at Pearl Harbor continuing through Paterson, NJ, Jacksonville, Florida and most recently Central New York, I again think of my son, our boy, our 'local kid', Jon Kane, who is far away from New York serving in the U.S. Navy.

At Sasebo Naval Base in...

Japan.

He sent a photo home from his Harbor Patrol Boat earlier this year.

This is the photo he forwarded to us:

The three radio towers in the distance are the ones which the Japanese Military used to transmit the orders to attack U.S. Military forces at Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941.

Seventy years later, my son patrols the harbor of the US Navy Base protecting his brothers in arms while keeping the people of Japan near the base free from harm.

The ripples continue...

For more information about Pearl Harbor, you can check out the following link: 70 Years Later

Holiday Safety Tips (For Roughly 50% of Us)

2011-12-05T07:28:00.003-05:00

"Haaaaaaappy Holidays, Haaaaaaappy Holidays!!!
Have a Screaming Good Christmas!!!"

Keeping with the Moos of the Day blog's LONG tradition (May 2008!) of providing important safety information, I have just come across Moos that I wanted to get out to you immediately.

The following concerns an actual news story written by actual Medical Doctors in Great Britain (really, it is, NOT kidding). Please continue reading for the sake of your children (and your childrens' children).

Doctors in the United Kingdom have issued a scary warning to parents of children (BOY children) in anticipation of the Christmas holiday's travels.

That warning?

This holiday season...

Keep that toilet seat lid up! Yes, after extensive research (four boys and a six-pack of Guinness), medical doctors have determined that EVERY boy between the ages of 2 and 4 years old runs the risk of crushing his 'winky' if he is holding the toilet seat up while urinating into a toilet. The study references the fact that ornamental toilet seats (shown below) are heavier than newer, environmentally-disasterous-fossil-fuel-based-plastic seats and could do considerable damage to the young man if the seat were to fall down onto the child's exposed 'winky'.

This is a BAD toilet seat, any way you look at it (from above, OR below)...

Please make sure that when you are traveling with small children that you immediately check out the toilet to make sure that it is safe for your child.

The following tips are provided by the article (I'm not making any of these up) and are posted here as guidelines for you (and for the safety of your child):

*Parents should consider using toilet seats that fall slowly and with reduced momentum, which would reduce the risk and degree of injury.

*Heavier toilet seats could be banned(?) in houses with male infants.

*Households with male infants should consider leaving the toilet seat up after use, even though it contradicts the social norm of putting it down. [Left unsaid, of course, is the half-awake small boy falling into the toilet and flushing himself to Washington, DC... Another political nightmare just waiting to unfold...]

*Parents could educate their toddlers to hold the toilet seat up with one hand while urinating.

*During such a feat, parents should keep an eye on toddlers until the toddler can do this by himself.

I do have several recommendations of my own that I would like to throw into the mix. Please keep in mind that I am here to help YOU eliminate some of the trauma associated with parenthood...:

1. Encourage your male children to urinate outside whenever possible. This saves water and gives your grass that 'healthy green glow' all year long!

2. In the winter-time, you can improve your child's 'penmanship' by challenging them to write their names neatly in the snow. The success of this venture, of course, is partly determined by the complexity of your child's name. 'Mike Kane' was relatively easy when I was young (it still is, now that I think about it) as it consists of only eight letters. Conversely, Terrence Winston Casey, III presents a much larger challenge (and the need for a much larger bladder).

3. Throw caution to the wind and encourage your male children to be a 'setter' when they relieve themselves (Number 1 AND Number 2) if you have a heavy toilet seat lid. This will be a HUGE problem when they use the restroom in high school, but come on, they've got to get beaten up sooner or later, right? Might as well get it out of the way on Day One of their Freshman Year!

So I guess the real message here is to tell your kids to be careful when they're 'doing their business'.

According to the article it sounds like if these docs in the U.K. want to BAN certain types of toilet seats. Hey, instead of banning toilet seats, why don't get (and keep) parents involved with properly training their kids how to, 'Make wee wee in the potty?!' Boys need to take matters into their own hands, and do the job properly.

Next thing these 'caring guys in white' are going to do is request a ban on 'Lawn Darts'! Come on, everybody loves 'Lawn Darts'!

Nothing more fun than a rousing game of 'Toss the Sharp Heavy
Spike Up Into the Air (and RUN for your life) Game' of Jarts!

Most of us survived 'Jarts' (but I still miss George Cahill...).

I would be remiss not to mention the joy of also surviving: Riding in cars without seat belts, riding in cars without 'child' car seats, sitting on our parent's lap while they were driving, lighting model ships on fire with lighter fluid to re-create the conflaguration scene from "Tora, Tora, Tora!" and, my personal favorite, riding with my friend Steve Helinski along the back roads of Long Island while he pretended that his 1968 GTO was a Star Trek "Shuttle Craft". (For the record, it was NOT my idea, and it didn't turn out so well, but I'm still here to write about it -- so, if nothing else, it was another valuable life-lesson learned!)

I guess the thing that caught my eye in the article was the fact that here we have more well-meaning individuals looking to make folks a little more 'careful' (a.k.a.: 'Anxious'). I'm sure that they really had the best of intentions in publishing their study (remember - 4 boys), but perhaps they should have dug a little deeper to determine exactly how many boys between the ages of 2 and 4 are dropping seats on their 'winkies'! If it's ALL of them, then this is great information to be aware of.

If it's 4 out of the entire male population in the U.K., well, we'd better find something more 'statistically significant' to worry about. For example, the chances of an asteroid hitting me square on top of my head is of a major concern to me. If I could get some research here, I would feel really good (or maybe not) about this.

So Moms and Dads across the vast and mighty U.S.; raise those seats (or not) and have your sons play a rousing game of 'Sink the Sub' (you can send me a note and I will explain) next time they have to go Number 1. Just make sure that they don't drop the durn seat and cut you off from ever having Grandchildren.

You'll find the original article here: Hey, did you just hear a 'thud' (and a blood-curdling scream)?

Let's all be Wee Wee safe this holiday travel season!

How to Calculate U.S. Unemployment - The Home Game

2011-12-04T11:10:00.001-05:00

I wrote the following way back on February 19th, 2010. I believe it was snowing that day - actually, living in Central New York in February, it's a lot easier to remember the days when it is NOT snowing. There are approximately four of these each February.

The only exception is if it's Leap Year, in which case it pretty much snows every day.

"Why?", you ask.

"Mother Earth is NOT amused with us adding that extra 1/4 of a day in every year. Mother Earth, or 'Gaia', is not happy when we mess with her / its 'Cycle'.

And when Gaia's not happy, nobody (on Earth) is happy."

'Gaia' Photo from Apollo 17
Wow, remember when we had a space program?
Wasn't THAT cool?!?!

Shoot, but here I go 'Digressing' again - let's get busy with the topic of today's post! Whatever that is...

"Hey, Bossie, do you remember what the topic of today's post is?"

"Loooooooower unemployment, Moos...", says my big girl in her most sonorous voice.

"Ahem, yes, that's it, let's talk about the most recent Unemployment Numbers as provided to us by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, henceforth, and forevermore known as, "BLS"! Let's get busy!"

How to Calculate U.S. Unemployment - The Home Game!

When the most recent unemployment rate was announced on Friday, December 2nd, 2011 (dropping the Unemployment from 9% to 8.6% with very little real job growth) you may have wondered, "How can this BE? How could the economy be adding fewer jobs than it is losing and the unemployment rate goes DOWN???"

Well, it's a 'Math Thing' again. (NOTE TO SELF: I hate 'Math Things')

It works like this:

EXAMPLE A: Assume that you have 1,000 jobs available in the economy (not as hard to imagine as it once was, but what the heck, it's an easy number to work with).

If you have 900 people employed, your unemployment rate is 10%.

EXAMPLE B: Now assume that the number of 'total jobs' available DROPS to 925.

If you have 850 people employed, your unemployment rate is 8.1%

So, even though you have FEWER people working, your unemployment rate goes DOWN.

This, and the following, accounts for our most recent reduction in the percentage of unemployed. Welcome to the BLS - where logic goes to die.

Confused yet? Oh, you will be.

You will be. And there's more. Much, much moo-re...

Richard Dawson says, "I asked you how the US Government caluclates the number of Unemployed workers in the United States.

You said, "By counting changes in the number payroll receipts monthly."

"Survey says!!!"

YOU are wrong.

At the end of a post about the celebration in the Media over the success of the 2009 Stimulus Program (yeah, as I update this in 2011 - I really miss those EXCELLENT economic days) I said I would touch on the issue of how the Bureau of Labor and Statistics comes up with their numbers of employed, unemployed, and people, in general, while playing they Scrabble, at your expense.

Rather than drone on (as I normally do, like, um, here...), I'll have the BLS (Bureau of Labor Statistics) speak, or more appropriately, 'type' for themselves.

Without further adieu, I give you the United States BLS!
(Hey, who put that extra letter in there?!?!)

Early each month, the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) of the U.S. Department of Labor announces the total number of employed and unemployed persons in the United States for the previous month, along with many characteristics of such persons. These figures, particularly the unemployment rate—which tells you the percent of the labor force that is unemployed—receive wide coverage in the media.

[BLS, thanks for talking to us like we're 10 years old.]

Some people think that to get these figures on unemployment, the Government uses the number of persons filing claims for unemployment insurance (UI) benefits under State or Federal Government programs. But some people are still jobless when their benefits run out, and many more are not eligible at all or delay or never apply for benefits. So, quite clearly, UI information cannot be used as a source for complete information on the number of unemployed.

[Ah, yes, QUITE clearly, why would anyone believe that the number of unemployed would be based upon those receiving unemployment benefits, or others, in general NOT working?]

Other people think that the Government counts every unemployed person each month. To do this, every home in the country would have to be contacted—just as in the population census every 10 years. This procedure would cost way too much and take far too long. Besides, people would soon grow tired of having a census taker come to their homes every month, year after year, to ask about job-related activities.

[Oh not so! We've come to LOVE government intrusion into our lives! Without it, what would we talk about in 'hushed voices' over our Kraft macaroni and cheese dinners at the dinner table (by candlelight)?]

Because unemployment insurance records relate only to persons who have applied for such benefits, and since it is impractical to actually count every unemployed person each month, the Government conducts a monthly sample survey called the Current Population Survey (CPS) to measure the extent of unemployment in the country.

[Hold on, did you just say that the BLS 'Polls' citizens to see who's working?]

The CPS has been conducted in the United States every month since 1940, when it began as a Work Projects Administration project. It has been expanded and modified several times since then. For instance, beginning in 1994, the CPS estimates reflect the results of a major redesign of the survey. (For more information on the CPS redesign,see Chapter 1, of the BLS Handbook of Methods.)
[The BLS DID just say that Unemployment is based on a random sample poll again, right? Did anyone out there know this? Please excuse my disbelief, I had no idea that the Unemployment Numbers were this 'scientific' . I thought it had something to do with a Magic Feather...]

There are about 60,000 households in the sample for this survey. This translates into approximately 110,000 individuals, a large sample compared to public opinion surveys which usually cover fewer than 2,000 people. The CPS sample is selected so as to be representative of the entire population of the United States. In order to select the sample, all of the counties and county-equivalent cities in the country first are grouped into 2,025 geographic areas (sampling units).

[Uh-huh...]

The Census Bureau then designs and selects a sample consisting of 824 of these geographic areas to represent each State and the District of Columbia [I smell a magic feather!]. The sample is a State-based design and reflects urban and rural areas, different types of industrial and farming areas, and the major geographic divisions of each State. (For a detailed explanation of CPS sampling methodology, see Chapter 1, of the BLS Handbook of Methods.)

[Chapter 1, of the BLS Handbook of Methods really ROCKs! It's quoted all over the place...]

Every month, one-fourth of the households in the sample are changed, so that no household is interviewed more than 4 consecutive months. This practice avoids placing too heavy a burden on the households selected for the sample. After a household is interviewed for 4 consecutive months, it leaves the sample for 8 months, and then is again interviewed for the same 4 calendar months a year later, before leaving the sample for good.

This procedure results in approximately 75 percent of the sample remaining the same from month to month and 50 percent from year to year.

[Uh-huh]

Each person is classified according to the activities he or she engaged in during the reference week. Then, the total numbers are "weighted," or adjusted to independent population estimates (based on updated decennial census results). The weighting takes into account the age, sex, race, Hispanic ethnicity, and State of residence of the person, so that these characteristics are reflected in the proper proportions in the final estimates.

[Uh-huh]

A sample is not a total count, and the survey may not produce the same results that would be obtained from interviewing the entire population. But the chances are 90 out of 100 that the monthly estimate of unemployment from the sample is within about 290,000 of the figure obtainable from a total census. Since monthly unemployment totals have ranged between about 7 and 11 million in recent years, the possible error resulting from sampling is not large enough to distort the total unemployment picture.

[Okay, so based upon I just read, 'Unemployment in the U.S.' is based on 60,000 Americans, from which we calculated that we have lost 4,000,000 jobs in the past year? This would mean that each of these 60,000 has lost their jobs 66.67 times in the past year. This, I can actually believe... Nah, just kidding - wanted to see if you were still paying attention.]

The complete answer, of course, is that the Bureau of Labor Statistics is 'polling' a sample group to determine the employment, or unemployment rate in the country on a monthly cycle.

They are using secretive scientific algorithms to decode rates of unemployment as well as the location of Atlantis (in their spare time).

Bottom line is, well, that they SCIENTIFICALLY GUESS how many people are working and NOT working.

Hmm, I wonder how many people are employed by the BLS? I'd better GOOGLE that one...

Well, I couldn't find the number of folks working for BLS, but I did find the total headcount for the number of people working for the Department of Labor.

That number? 16,000.

So, if we have each of these 16,000 Department of Labor employees contact 3.75 people per month, we could do away with the entire 'Current Population Survey' group all together. That could save us something like $1 BILLION in overhead costs! I guess it could be less, but at the rate we're burning through money in the government, it might as well be a BILLION dollars.

So if YOU were wondering how Administrations' have been coming up with Unemployment Numbers since 1940, well, now you know.

I don't feel better knowing this, but I guess if you learn something new every day you're better prepared for the stuff you DON'T know about yet. For example, what do we do when China sells the rest of our Bonds back to the Federal Reserve?

Just between you and me, isn't the Federal Reserve buying our National debt a lot like ME writing checks without having CASH in the bank?

Wouldn't I go to jail for that?

Geez, I'd hate to go to Jail. Maybe I should go into politics?

Politicians almost never go to Jail.

But I hear the teaching jobs at the Ivy League schools and Lobbying Firms they retire to have excellent benefits!

America "Loses" Several (Hundred Thousand) Americans

2011-12-03T10:44:00.002-05:00

Heard around the Blogyard...

Madison asks, "Psst, Bossie, have you seen Buttercup lately?"

"Nah, I thought she was with YOU...", says Bossie.

"That's weird, I found her stall empty and she didn't touch her dinner last night."

"Maybe she's over with Ferdinand's "gettin' busy"?", asks Bossie.

"Nah, that Ferdinand's a freak, hanging out under the cork tree all day.  Buttercup says he makes her uncomfortable. That bull's so dang peaceful - you'd hardly think he was a bull. He's more like a Golden Retriever." Madison says.

"With horns!", shouts Bossie.

"It's a shame, the poor boy doesn't know how to use them." Madison laughs as she trots away.

The blogyard fades away as today's post begins anew...

Yes, it's true. Disappearances like the one above have taken place all across America during the past thirty days. Is anyone talking about it?

NOOOOOOOOOO!

And why not?

It's a conspiracy man. An inter-galactic conspiracy of Biblical proportions!!!
(Obligatory Right-Wing Rant Section to make left-leaning readers feel more at home)

Huh?

How do I know that people are being sucked off the planet?

The nice folks at the Bureau of Labor Statistics told me so, that's how. Yeah, they reported yesterday that 315,000 people were 'OUT' of the workforce. With fewer people 'IN' the workforce it means that the unemployment rate MUST go down. Right? Fewer people 'ready, willing, and able' to work makes YOUR employment opportunities that much better!!!

Yeah, so what what happened to roughly ONE-THIRD OF A MILLION PEOPLE (since last month)?

Two words for you: "Space-Alien Abduction"! (Joke, that's four words, if you, um, count the hyphen.)

Yeah, could be, but the actual 'disappearing workers' thing from the BLS IS two words, the first word begins with 'Bull' and the second word ends with '__ __ it'.
(Fill in your own blanks on this one.)

From the Bloomberg article found online:

U.S. Jobless Rate Unexpectedly Declines to 8.6%
Job gains in the U.S. picked up last month and the unemployment rate unexpectedly fell to the lowest level since March 2009, a decline augmented by the departure of Americans from the labor force.

Payrolls climbed 120,000, after a revised 100,000 increase in October, with more than half the hiring coming from retailers and temporary help agencies, Labor Department figures showed today in Washington. The median estimate in a Bloomberg News survey called for a 125,000 gain. The jobless rate declined to 8.6 percent from 9 percent. Revisions to prior reports added a total of 72,000 jobs to payrolls in September and October.

...

The unemployment rate, derived from a separate survey of households, was forecast to hold at 9 percent. The decrease in the jobless rate reflected a 278,000 gain in employment at the same time 315,000 Americans left the labor force.

...

“You’d like to see the unemployment rate coming down when people are coming into the job market, not disappearing,” James Glassman, senior economist at JP Morgan Chase & Co. in New York, said in a radio interview on “Bloomberg Surveillance” with Tom Keene.

President Barack Obama said the drop in the jobless rate is a sign the recovery is getting stronger, and extending a cut in the payroll tax will provide more fuel for the economy.

He went on to say, "Let me be clear, if we clap REALLY REALLY hard; the Fairies who control our Economy will be once again healthy enough to reduce our employment rate to 5.5% like it was when GW Bush left office."

While the last quote above is NOT, hmm, let's say 'factually attributable to the President', I do believe that President Obama believes in Fairies.  Why?

Because Fairies believe in President Obama. of course!

Yes, the wee folk who flit from tree to tree spreading magical goodness across the land believe in President Barack Hussein Obama.

Unfortunately, he lost the Minotaur vote yesterday when the Senate said 'Bestiality' was pretty much cool from a legislative perspective. And as we all know, Minotaurs have no use for, well, you know...

"Hey buddy, get off my _ _ _!" No, the bestiality thing is not cool with minotaurs.

Mermaids, to date, have been relatively quiet on the subject of the President's re-election chances, but King Neptune is still really P/O'd about that Gulf spill from Earth Day, 2010.

Yes, President Obama, you will receive NO Mermen votes in November of 2012 (outside of Illinois, of course. As everyone knows, even dead Mermen vote Democratic up there).

So, the fantasy continues, for the past six months I've heard that no President has ever been elected with an unemployment rate of greater than 8% and now, magically, improbably, and unexpectedly, the rate drops a full four-tenths of a percent to 8.6% because...

315,000 People have disappeared from the work force.

And,

278,000 Jobs were added (most, admittedly, from part time, seasonal employment according to the article quoted)
Stunning, isn't it?

Did you see THAT coming?

Actually, I did. (Nana-nana-boo-boo!)

I even wrote about how the Department of Bureau and Labor Statistics gets all 'jiggy' with numbers when it needs to. And, a long time ago, back in February 10, 2010 (this seems a REALLY long time ago when measured in "Obama Years" I wrote...

When the most recent unemployment rate was announced (dropping the Unemployment from 9.4% to 9.0% with VIRTUALLY no job growth) you may have wondered, "How could this BE? How could the economy not add jobs but the unemployment rate went DOWN???"

Well, it's a 'Math Thing' again. It works like this:

EXAMPLE A:

If you have 900 people employed, your unemployment rate is 10%.

EXAMPLE B: Now assume that the number of 'total jobs' available DROPS to 925.

If you have 850 people employed, your unemployment rate is 8.1%

So, even though you have FEWER people working, your unemployment rate goes DOWN.

This, and the following, accounts for our most recent reduction in the percentage of unemployed.

Confused yet?

Oh, you will be...

Trust me...

You can read it in its entirety by clicking HERE.

But after all, today is a Saturday, and reading this fact-based series of Mathematical exercises will only make you sad.

Upon reading, you'll learn that everything in Washington in a shell game.

And in DC... They hold your nuts in their hands.

Turn your head and cough.

It's all you can do until 2012.

THEN, the nuts will be in your hands, won't they?

Oh yes, they will, and get ready to squeeze them hard.

As we wrap today's exchange, I will confirm that no Minotaurs were injured in the generation of today's post.

However, this woman? She's in BIG trouble...

16 + 9 = 50,000

2011-12-02T17:30:00.001-05:00

Photo By Gus Ruelas, AP

NEW YORK (AP) 11/30/2011 — The overnight police raids in Philadelphia and Los Angeles that dismantled two of the nation's biggest Occupy Wall Street encampments leave just a few major "occupations" still going on around the U.S. But activists are already changing tactics and warning of a winter of discontent, with rallies and marches every week.

The camps may bloom again in the spring, organizers said, and next summer could bring huge demonstrations at the Republican and Democratic conventions, when the whole world is watching. But for now they are promoting dozens of smaller actions, such as picketing the president in New York and staging sit-ins at homes marked for foreclosure.

...

On Wednesday, masked sanitation workers hauled away 25 tons of debris from the lawns around Los Angeles City Hall after police raided the protesters' camp in the middle of the night and arrested more than 300 people. In Philadelphia, dozens of police patrolled a plaza outside City Hall after sweeping it of demonstrators and arresting 50.

In the past few weeks, police broke up encampments in such cities as Portland, Ore., Oakland, Calif., and New York, where the sit-down protests against social inequality and corporate excesses began in mid-September.

...

The Occupy movement is beginning to follow a familiar pattern, said Todd Gitlin, a sociologist at Columbia University and an authority on social movements. He noted that the 1960s anti-war movement grew gradually for years until bursting onto the world stage during the election year of 1968.

He predicted big rallies around the 2012 Republican National Convention in Tampa, Fla., and the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, N.C.

Until then, "I think there will be some kinds of occupations, but I don't think they'll be as big and as central," Gitlin said...

"All we are saying, is Give Peas a Chance..."
(This has nothing to do with this post, but I enjoy singing sooooooo much...)

Okay, a couple of things regarding the above:

First things first: The quote from the AP story, should alarm Democrats a LOT, "The Occupy movement is beginning to follow a familiar pattern, said Todd Gitlin, a sociologist at Columbia University and an authority on social movements (Moos Note i.e.: 'social movements' as in pooping on Police Cars? Actually not ONLY police cars, but on the sidewalks as well with VIDEO).

He noted that the 1960s anti-war movement grew gradually for years until bursting onto the world stage during the election year of 1968."

So why should the party of Obama, Reid, Weiner, Frank (I love it when 'Weiner' and 'Frank' are so close together in a sentence), Progressives and Pelosi be concerned? Well, if this particular 'familiar pattern' follows through as it has in the past, I'm thinking, `1968' as an example:

The United States presidential election of 1968 was the 46th quadrennial United States presidential election. Coming four years after Democrat Lyndon B. Johnson won in a historic landslide, it saw Johnson forced out of the race and Republican Richard Nixon elected.

The election was a wrenching national experience, conducted against a backdrop that included the assassination of civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. and subsequent race riots across the nation, the assassination of presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, widespread demonstrations against the Vietnam War across American university and college campuses, and violent confrontations between police and anti-war protesters at the 1968 Democratic National Convention as the Democratic party split again and again. (Source: Wikipedia)

Yes, it's true, you always hurt the one you love.

And sometimes, you actually kill him / her / it. (Hopefully, this is the exception, rather than the rule...)

Second things second: I ought to clarify the title of this post. I read that the OWS folks in LA left behind 25 TONS of trash when they were 'asked nicely' to leave their 'occupation' site. LA Sanitation workers swept, boxed, and carted away 25 TONS of debris from this happy group's dung-heap, which they gleefully referred to as, home.

So, I began thinking.

There was something tickling the back of my mind as I typed the beginning of this 'once nameless' post. It was a thing I knew long ago, and while I didn't get the title exactly right, I was able to find it on YouTube with a little help from Google.

SIXTEEN TONS, Tennessee Ernie Ford, 1956

Tennessee Ernie Ford has given us 16 tons.

16 tons + 9 tons = 25 tons

25 tons x 2,000 lbs. per ton = 50,000 liters, um, I mean, POUNDS

Yeah, I guess when you have to explain it, it's not as 'genius' as I thought it was.

But I never said I was a genius - I said I was a cow.

There is a difference. Most people like cows. Only a very few like geniuses.

And, if you removed the genius' Mom and Dad's input to the "Do you like geniuses?" survey, almost NO one likes a genius.

Geniuses designed the following:

"Ouuuuuuch"

No refrigeration required!

Hey kid, see you on The Biggest Loser!!!

Functional AND Stylish!!!

That's not what I expected.
No, it's really s-not.

Have a nice weekend folks!

The Road(s) Less Traveled

2011-11-25T11:17:00.003-05:00

Riding off into the sunset...

PART I:

Ladies, Gentlemen, Boys, and Girls! Today's post is 100% 'factually-based' GREAT NEWS!!! (Not like that 'made-up' 'Great News' you see on ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, FOX, Huffington Post, or find at http://www.whitehouse.gov/!)

Yes, the following post is BRIMMING with Optimism!!!

In a post found yesterday at Detroit News.com, I learned the following interesting facts:

Americans are using 500,000 fewer barrels of oil a day
In September, driving fell by 1.5 percent to 244.2 billion miles
The Energy Information Agency said the four-week average demand for gasoline use is 8.58 million barrels a day. Last year at this time, the four-week average was 9.1 million barrels of oil a week

Whoa, looks like all those 'Green Policies' put in place by the Obama Administration are REALLY WORKING!!!

Hoo-ray!

I'm sure that you enjoy driving your New Chevrolet Volts, Nissan Leafs, and Bicycles around town, to the office, and to the unemployment office in your state!

On behalf of everyone here in the MoosRoom - thank you for NOT driving!

You have made the positive, life-affirming choice to NOT drive as much as you did previously!

Thank you for helping keep:

Our Air Cleaner!
Our Roads Safer!
Our Dinosaurs resting safely deep underground (in thick puddles of trapped fossil fuels)!
Our Childrens' Future Brighter!

Yes, as I work off the remainder of my over-sized Turkey Dinner, the news today is ALL good!!!

Thank you, America, and God Bless President Obama's Economic and Energy policies!!!
[Somewhere in the distance, the reverb slowly fades as the sound of applause is cut off quickly...]

"Oh yes, I am the man..."

DISCLAIMER(s), OBSERVATIONS, AND FUNDAMENTAL SCIENTIFIC ASSUMPTIONS:

Each of the above items is 'Factually Correct'.

Each item was found in the online post from the Detroit News Online.

No dinosaurs were killed in the generation of today's post

(They all died off Millions of years ago, and as much as I want to, I cannot take responsibility for their passing. It was, in fact, due to Global Climate Change brought about the dinosaurs' reckless use of... Fossil Fuels.)

PART II:
Now, if I were being honest with you, I would have told you the REST of the story.

The rest of the story is the actual post I began to write before I got side-tracked into the above. While I was not actually lying to you, I was mis-directing your attention to things which I wanted you to consider as the only facts applicable to this post.

In fact, the above items, discussed above, are FACTS - from a purely 'Factual perspective'...

But as with most things found online... I left a lot of the facts out.

The additional 'omitted' facts may lead you to a different conclusion than the one you found above.
Continuing from the Detroit News Online article (partially quoted) from above:

November 22, 2011, Washington -- Americans hit the brakes on driving in September. They logged 3.7 billion fewer miles as driving fell for the seventh straight month in the face of high gas prices.

The Federal Highway Administration said Americans have driven 29.8 billion fewer miles in the first nine months of 2011, which remains on pace to be the lowest yearly number of miles driven since 2003.
...

The Energy Information Agency says gas prices are still about 50 cents a gallon higher than last year. The average recent price nationwide at the pump was $3.39, compared with $2.85 a year ago.

Americans are using 500,000 fewer barrels of oil a day, a sign driving may fall even further.
...

As Americans log fewer miles, they may hold on to aging vehicles even longer as they drive less. The average age of vehicles on the roads has risen to 10.6 years, the oldest ever.

The federal report is based on continuous hourly traffic count data at 4,000 traffic counting locations nationwide.

The U.S. surpassed 2 trillion annual miles traveled in 1988, and the 3 trillion mile mark in 2006.

But with economic woes and higher gas prices in recent years, the U.S.hasn't topped the 3 trillion mile mark since 2007.

To add insult to injury, my oldest son referred to a site: http://www.gasbuddy.com/ where you can do interesting things like:

Find least-expensive gas locally and nationally!
Track gasoline prices long term!
Plan your next trip (including gasoline expenses) online!

So I went there.

I was curious what gasoline prices looked like during President Obama's singular term-to-date.

Interestingly enough, the most curious part of the chart is what the chart looked like BEFORE the election.

You'll know it when you see it...

Yes, that's right, the mere presence of 'Candidate Obama' and 'John McCain' (I'm laughing as I type this last one) in the Presidential Race in 2008 drove the per gallon price of gasoline down from $4.12 per gallon in July, 2008 down to $1.86 per gallon when we went to the polls within a period of FOUR months.

This represents a decline of 55% in the per gallon price of gasoline at the pump. It must have been all those 'Hope and Change' forces working busily behind the scenes.

But What's Happened Since the Inauguration?

'Hope and change' is once again only a bumper sticker slogan (in reality, always was)
Gasoline prices have increased steadily since January, 2009
We are driving 'older cars' because we can't afford 'newer ones' (but, hey, don't newer cars get better gas mileage???)
We, as a Nation, are driving less because, quite frankly, we can't afford to drive 'more'
The economy continues to lurch forward more consistently with momentum associated with a re-animated corpse than that of a marathon runner
And the President, so far as I can tell, would rather support the OWS folks than the people who used to drive this economy - the people who pay his family's airfare to far-away, exotic places, to see things I can only speculate about seeing

In the end, the President has done a wonderful job of reducing our demand for foreign, and domestic fossil fuels, unfortunately, it's not because we're conserving more fuel-efficient vehicles and living more 'greenly'. It's because we're holding back on our spending because we don't know which direction our next 'economic blow' is coming from.

The only thing I do know for sure?

That next blow?

It's on its way...

And that does kind of 'blow', doesn't it?

"Why can't we just be more like Germany?"
Because we don't have giant female politicians who... you know.

Maxie's Second Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T08:40:00.020-05:00

Whoa, it must be the holiday season or something - I'm feeling WAY too nostalgic. I was updating the "Turkey and Grave" post recently and memories from an earlier Thanksgiving kept popping into my head. It's a persistent bugger that won't let me sleep - well, for a while, at least.

Well, like they say, "When the Spirit moves you..."

Yeah, okay, okay, I'm moving.

I'm sixteen years old (how do I look?). No, on second thought, don't answer that.

What I mean is that the 'story' takes place when I'm sixteen years old. It happens in a land not too distant from here but many lifetimes ago when measured in 'dog years'. And this story is about a dog. No, not exactly 'a' dog, but rather, 'THE' dog. The dog by which all other dogs will be measured against, by me - for all time.

For my almost sixteen years I wanted a dog to call my own. For a number of reasons, most noticeably really bad asthma, allergies, and, gosh golly, just a whole bunch of stuff which made it hard to breathe, my folks told me "No!" for almost 15.63 years. "If you get a dog it'll have to stay outside and if it has to stay outside... Why bother having a dog?" Man, I HATE logic when it doesn't 'break' my way.

Then something wonderful happened. I grew out of 'sickly kid' mode which dogged me when I was younger. I grew taller, lost about 20 pounds, I hardly wheezed at all, and I began looking (and acting) like a 'normal' kid. Okay, maybe 'normal' is a stretch, but I wasn't quite as 'abnormal' as I had been several years earlier. I grew up and out of... being sick.

Ah, 'medically-un-assisted' breathing - an idea whose time had come! I was never going to be on the basketball team, but at least I could hold down a job at the Diner and make some money by working after school. Yeah, things were looking down-right rosey for the kid here. It was my Junior Year of High School and life (in spite of Jimmy Carter) for me, at least, was pretty good.

Then my Dad came home from the Fire House one fall night. He huddled with my Mom in the kitchen and there was 'muttering' going on. Not BAD muttering (you know THAT when you hear it), but it was a quiet debate about something which was either going to breached or not. My Mom kept peeking at me over Dad's shoulder as they spoke in hushed voices. With some sort of decision being made, they walked into the dining room where I was half-heartedly pretending to be doing my homework.

"Michael?" my Mom asked.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked. Might as well qualify the storm to come prior to it actually washing you away in the Tsunami, I say.

"No, nothing wrong. There isn't, is there?" Mom asked this while she smiled slightly and looked down at her hands.

"Nope, all good in my world, what's up?" I said.

"Your Father and I were speaking about something that we wanted to talk to you about. Nothing for sure, but we wanted to run something by you."

"Sure, shoot." I said.

"One of the men Dad went to school with has a dog. The dog is a pure-bred Golden Retriever who 'got into trouble' with the neighbor's Black Labrador. Molly, the Mom, has nine puppies that they're trying to find homes for. And we were wondering..." Mom's voice broke off as I jumped up from the table.

"Can we go see them now? Tonight? Where are they? How old are they? Can I pick a boy or a girl? I'm going to name my dog "Max" - it's an EXCELLENT dog's name!" I was out of my chair and gave up any pretense of doing homework now. Plenty of time for homework later in life, my folks were talking 'dogs' and I was ready to listen!

"Well, since it's seven o'clock and Dad hasn't spoken with Mr. Goldsmith yet, we'll need to call him to see if he has any puppies left. And, since he's giving them away for FREE, they might be all gone." My Mom had used my Dad's favorite word in the prior sentence: "FREE" this was a HUGELY powerful word in my house.

"Free?" I asked. "Is there something wrong with the dogs? Too many eyes, an extra (or missing) leg, or some other medical defect that warrants them giving them away for nothing?" Some of the joy left me at this point.

"No, the puppies are healthy, but since his AKC-Registered dog had puppies with a non-registered dog, he can't sell them, and apparently he can't breed her any longer." Mom said.

"So, if you have puppies without being 'married' to the right dog - you're an outcast in the AKC-dog society?" I asked.

"Yes, apparently so." Mom replied.

"Cool! When can we get our dog?" I asked.

"Your Dad's working on it. He'll call Al and see when we can go over to check out the puppies, assuming that there are some left." My Mom said. "But don't get too fired up, they may be all gone when your Dad calls, they are FREE after all." Man, now I wished Mom would stop using that word - FREE stuff around my neighborhood doesn't last long at all, and I want my manly (okay, 'boyly') "MAX" dog.

The abbreviated story is that we went to meet Molly and my 'Max' (who, due to a lack of 'boy dogs' turned out to be 'Maxie') - yeah, she was CUTE. The un-official name given to her by my Dad was: 'Obscene Maxine'. This modified name was given to her for her ability to lay on her back, to play with a toy with her front paws all the while her 'privates' were exposed to Heaven. She was currently too young to bring home so she stayed with her Mom for a few more weeks. It was KILLING me to know that there was a dog in the world with my name on her collar - but I couldn't bring her home yet.

Maxie was worth the wait. She was a beautiful dog with long, soft black fur and a single white 'check mark' on her chest. She was smart, she was lean, and as it turns out, she was a long-legged running machine.

Maxie's Second Thanksgiving, 1.9 years later
Having a Mother who's a Golden Retriever and a Father who's a Black Labrador is a mixed 'thing' for a dog. First, as a dog born of a Golden, you are blessed with good looks, good manners, and a brain a 'little' too big for a normal dog's head. Second, being fathered by a Black Lab you are a sporting dog. You like to keep 'busy'. As it is used here, 'Busy' means that you chase blowing leaves in the back yard, you bark at anything which might appear suspicious behind the hedge, AND you are always alert for your next big break (as in 'Jail Break').

Maxie's 'world' consisted of our back yard and the 75-foot run which tethered her to the manly eye-bolt at the back door of the house. The rope was stout and came equipped with a sliding hook-latch which connected her 'lead' to a steel ring on her collar. Maxie's world was pretty good - but she, like the earliest explorers needed MORE.

Her opportunity came on Thanksgiving Day, 1978. A day which will live in infamy with my Dad, while only illiciting a wry smile from me.

Thanksgiving 1978 begins as any other major fall holiday at the Casa de' Kane:

7AM: Mom gets up early and wrestles the shrink wrap off the 'too-big' turkey only to find that it hasn't 'fully' defrosted during the past four days in the over-stuffed refrigerator. The sink fills up with cold water and the bird begins to 'bob' in the nearly-freezing water as she attempts to 'quick thaw' 22 pounds of turkey by shooting water into every open 'bird orifice'. Low-volume muttering and sporadic 'non-Thanksgiving' verbiage can be heard when passing by the kitchen doorway.

8AM: Dad plans the requisite trips to pick up the Grandmothers to bring them for our 'feast'. My brother and I wish that we could sleep 'later', but it's a family event, so everybody's up whether they like it, or not. The Thanksgiving Day 'Parade of Events' begins its annual ritual in my home.

9:00 AM: Unbeknownst to me, my dog plans her mischief for the day as she lays in the sun on the rug between the dining room and kitchen. More on this at 11:15 AM.

10:15 AM: My brother and I pick up Grandmother #1 and bring her home for Thanksgiving.

11:00 AM: My Dad and I pick up Grandmother #2 and bring her home for Thanksgiving.

11:15 AM: The un-thinkable happens...

Two-year old Maxie-Dog stands at the back door whining thinly. This universal warning indicates that Maxie needs 'OUT' - like, NOW, please...

Happening during the natural chaos of a major holiday, Dad is the first to see that Maxie needs to be let out. He dutifully opens the back door with one hand as he holds onto her collar with the other, leans out over the back porch to pick up her lead, holds the door open with his knee and prepares to clip her 'rope' onto her collar AND...

Maxie sees a bunny. (This is NOT the actual bunny - but, isn't he CUTE?)

Maxie hates the bunnies (or perhaps she LOVES them very much). I don't know which scenario is true for sure because she never catches a bunny. But she really wants to chase them - just 'because they're there'. Some nights while dreaming next to my bed, her paws pump furiously and she howls in her sleep (either in joy or sorrow) at the prospect of catching (or losing) Peter de Cottontail.

Due to her hasty 'EXIT', the latch held by my Dad clips onto Maxie's rabies tag hoop instead of the regular solid metal loop on her collar (this, it turns out, is a 'bad thing'). She runs full-throttle after the white-tailed interloper in her yard. She gets to the end of her lead, sees the bunny ignoring her (bunnies will do this to dogs assuming that the dog will NEVER get past the end of their run) and continues to run past the point where she 'normally' stops. The rabies tag gives an audible 'S-Q-U-I-N-K!' as it shears off her collar, the rabies tag becomes airborne, the rope falls harmlessly to the ground like an over-extended deceased snake, and the black fur-covered missile is after the cute wittle 'Wabbit'.

The bunny looks up in time to see that something is very wrong. The dog which 'should be' out of rope by now is getting nearer. BunnyFace turns and bolts for the hedge which runs along the back yard property line. Undeterred by the upcoming bit of topiary 'border', both the Bunny and Maxie crash into (and through) the hedge by going 'low and fast' down where the leaves are sparse. Now freed of any by geographic boundaries, my dog, my friend, my fuzzy buddy, is giving 'thanks' for her freedom as she continues to lunge forward and run 'all crazy' after the bunny.

Oops, I should have told you something earlier. My home (the place I sit and finish this post on the Saturday following Thanksgiving) backs up to a bit of 'green' (check this out)...

The small 'Letter A' over there on the right (in red) is my home. Our home backs up to a 'farm'. Once Maxie left the yard, she had all this fabulous green area to explore, and presumably, to find MORE 'bunnies' in.

The yellow line in the following photo roughly approximates Maxie's route from this long-ago Thanksgiving morning:

My clearest memory of the morning? Watching my favorite family member running, head just above the waving rye grass, at full gallop back and forth through the open field. She KNEW she was being 'bad' but she was SO happy about it, I couldn't be mad at her. You could see the JOY on her face as she ran (several times) away from, and then back by, the rear of the house. She was doing what she was meant to do... Being a dog.

My second clearest memory? My Dad standing at the edge of the property throwing his hands up and down repeatedly yelling to the dog and then turning to me and saying, "That ________ (bad word) dog! That ________ (another bad word) no good, un-trained, miserable dog is RUINING my __________ - __________Thanksgiving! Why can't she be a GOOD dog instead of being a __________, __________, __________ (several bad words) miserably ungrateful dog like she is!?!?"

My third clearest memory? About fifteen minutes after the adventure began, my fur-covered-mischief-machine returned home. She was winded, she was dirty, but beneath it all, she was GLOWING and happily exhausted. She had pulled a scam on her Papa (and me) which prior to, and after this bit of mischief, she never quite equalled again.

So how does the story end? Happily, of course, because Maxie came BACK (of her own accord). I did mention that she was an excellent dog, right?

I adopted Maxie when I was in high school. Then I went to college, and lastly, I moved to Florida. By then, Maxie had become my Dad's dog (Mom was there too, but Maxie was always 'Daddy's little girl'). He took her for walks, he gave her ice cream and apple slices from paper plates while snacking in the living room, and in the end, he helped her get up when she could no longer do it on her own.

She was almost fifteen when my Dad called me to tell me that she was in a lot of pain and couldn't get around by herself any longer. He was the one who took her for her final ride in the car and last voyage in this sun. He stayed with her while she drifted off to a better place, a place without pain, without hurt, without fast-moving bunnies.

I like to think that where she is now she has a 'better-than-average' chance of catching one of those rabbits. If she caught it? She'd do what she did with that baby bird she found once when she was three - she'd lay down with it sheltered between her front paws and look at it for a while. Keeping it safe until someone she trusted came to care for it. The thrill for Maxie was always in the 'discovery' of things, not in the 'chewing' of them.

Maxie had a good life. She was always loved. And what she received, she gave back unconditionally.

Our lives were better because she was there.

While visiting last Thanksgiving I came across a photo. It's not too clear because it's a photo of a photo, but to me, it's pretty much 'perfect'.

The original photo was taken when Maxie was about nine years old. My Dad, well, he was a 'little bit younger' (in people-years) too.
Maxie was my, and my Dad's, best friend. I've adopted other dogs since Maxie, each one good (and yes, sometimes bad) in their own way. But like they say, 'You never forget your first love.'

Maxie wasn't REALLY 'perfect'. But she WAS 'perfect' to me (and to my Dad).

Looking for the 'Perfect' Holiday Gift this Christmas? I'll bet that there are 'perfect dogs' at the local ASPCA office near you right now who are in need of a good home.

How do I know this?

Because 50% of the dogs in this photo were 'rescued'.

AND 100% of the dogs in this photo bring joy (some days more than others) to my family on a daily basis.

Open your heart. Open your home.

Seriously, how many TVs and game systems does your family need?

Save a furry life this year. Adopt a pet for whom your home will be their (and your) best Christmas (or other 'non-religious-holiday-specific') present.

And, if you're a 'Cat Person', well, I'm sure they've got those guys up for adoption too (although, I don't understand cats at all, but apparently there are folks who do...).

Come on - give your kids something to write about later in life. Otherwise, they might spend all their time writing about how 'unique' growing up with YOU was. This is why we have TWO dogs. Keeps the pressure of me (being 'unique' as I am)...

I hope your Thanksgiving was as good for you as mine was for me. Many things in life change. Some things do not. Last year my Mom bought a non-frozen turkey for Thanksgiving but we (I) still managed to over-cook the rolls. I'll need to work on this for next year.

Happy Thanksgiving folks.

Be nice to each other.

Dope & Change (The Rest of the Story)

2011-11-19T11:23:00.002-05:00

New Tires

Saturday, November 12, 9:20am: The 'Shove'

It comes from out of nowhere. One second I'm dreaming of chasing bunnies across an open field, then the next, I'm getting a semi-slap and push from behind towards the brightening day. "Why are you hitting me?" I'm still not sure if I'm actually awake at this point, but I hear these words coming from my mouth as if from a great distance away.

My wife, the slapper, tells me something I pretty much already knew, "You have to go get the tire fixed today. Call up the guys at Five Star Auto in JC and let them know you're coming."

"Can't I sleep a little while longer?" I ask. Bringing no response, the answer to this last question is, of course... No. "Okay, okay, I'm moving!" I say this as I roll toward my edge of the bed, rotate my feet toward the floor, sit upright and begin the morning ritual:

Trip over the Golden Retriever on the way to the bath room
Flip on the light switch, even though it's not really dark in there
Use the toilet
Walk to the sink
Turn on the water
Splash water onto my face
Wonder when I got so 'old-looking'
Brush teeth
Open door striking Golden Retriever on the snout once more as she has resettled directly in front of the door again
Apologize to the dog (although it's really HER fault)
I wonder aloud to no one why I was dreaming about chasing bunnies across an open field
Lumber down the hallway to the kitchen to feed the dogs

Yeah, pretty much like every other day of my life with the small exception that I was able to sleep past 9am. This NEVER happens. Normally I'm up by six, a left-over from the daily routine of getting my youngest out to the bus stop by 6:55am. So why the extra three hours of sleep?

Oh, that's right, I went to bed happy... After those guys changed the tire last night my faith in mankind was reaffirmed - for this night, at least, I sleep like a baby.

Ah, but it's a brand-new day, another day of untold greatness and opportunities - time to get busy and make the drive to the shop where we bought the car.

I arrive to the store at 10:20 and find Scott, the mechanic extraordinaire, standing in the open garage door, smoking a cigarette and grinning at me. "I'm so proud of you that you were able to change that tire all by yourself. You're such a big boy now Mikey..."

I could have let him think that I kicked the dang tire off the car by myself, but I told him the story I posted here the other day. I found myself leaving out the feel-good 'gushy' parts, and focusing more on the 'manly aspects' of the story (i.e.: Cursing when my shoulder popped because HE put them lug nuts on WAAAAAY to tightly last time he rotated the tires), how I thought I heard a bear sneaking up behind me when I was down there jacking up the car (turned out it was a man walking a large brown dog on a leash), and how I single-handed put four quarters into an air dispenser and tried to pump up the tire... Myself!

Scott is so proud of me that he laughs out loud. I'm not sure why he laughs. I didn't say anything funny, and I could have really hurt my shoulder trying to get those lug nuts off.  And if the car fell on me, well, I could have been crushed.  Me, left twitching on the ground, in a pool of my own blood as my spleen is mashed, my organs ground to paste, and my life wafting away from me like the smoke from his cigarette's glowing tip.

"You laugh, but I could have DIED! I could FEEL the Angel of Death looking over my shoulder! It was a very close thing..." I said.

"Buddy, that was probably your wife looking over your shoulder." he said as he took one last drag on his cigarette.

He is right, of course, my wife was looking over my shoulder the entire time but I am not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he is right. The Angel of Death COULD have been looking over her shoulder AT my shoulder - yeah, it could have happened that way...

"Bring the car in; let's see what you did to that poor Cooper tire." He says.

I skillfully pull into the service area without striking any other vehicles which sit beside me in varying states of disrepair on my left and right. I pop the trunk, Scott pulls out the tire, looks at it, looks at me, looks back to the tire and says, "Is this the one that's flat?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the one since it doesn't have ANY air pressure in it." Yes, this is the guy I trust my life to every time he repairs one of our cars...

"I know what's wrong with it," he says.

"Me too, but you got something more for me since I already told you that it is flat?" I ask.

"Well, the first thing is that I can tell that your wife drove on it for a while before she stopped and you showed up..." he says.

"Oh yeah, how?" I ask.

"This."  He turns the tire around so I can see the back side of the tire. Apparently tires have an 'outter' side, as well as an 'inner' - I may not be bright, but yes, I can be taught. "This is not a good thing."

Scott's cigarette droops as his eyebrows raise at the same moment. "Mikey, a Faith Healer couldn't bring this tire back - it has holes in it. I wouldn't use this tire for a rope swing. My kids'll drop through it when the rubber gives way."

"Oh, I knew THAT." I said. I actually DID know it, but he laughed at me when I told him about the 'Bear Dog' which almost ate me for dinner - so there...

"I've got an old tire I can put on until your tire comes in on Monday. The distributor is shut down on the weekend so I can't order it till then." he said.

"Wow, a 'junker tire' on my wife's car, she'll love you sooooo much!" I said.

"You know what, I have these snows I ordered for another customer who's bringing his car in Monday afternoon. Let me check something..."  he says as he walks over to the short-stack of two snow tires. "They're your size. You want 'em?"

"Heck yes I do. Will you mount them, put air in them, balance them, and slap them back on the car for me?" I ask.

"You want to save the good tire that's on the back of the car, right?"

"Yes Scott, I would like to save the 'good tire' so I can buy a mate for it in the spring when we pull the snows back off..." I say.

"Okay, give me about twenty minutes."  he says.

It's much quicker than this before I see him again. Worse yet, he's not smiling (and he's almost always smiling). "What's up Scott?" I ask him.

"Is someone mad at your wife?" he asks.

"I don't think so, why?" I ask.

"Come out here for a minute." He turns and begins walking back out into the garage area. He stands up the 'good tire' he just pulled off the driver's side of the car and points to a section of sidewall. "Someone has cut it, either with a knife or a box-cutter." he says.

"No way," I say as I bend down to look at the tire.  I see a slice about three and a half inches long across the sidewall of the tire. It's not incredibly deep, but it's long and it's almost a straight line. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I checked the two front tires and they're fine, but someone did this on purpose. I looked to see if I could find anything on the flat tire, but the sidewall's too banged up from all the driving that happened after it went flat." There's no smile on Scott's face now, he's not kidding.

"Okay, let's rotate the snows to the front of the car and you keep these two tires, once the sidewall's damaged, they're pretty much shot, right?" I ask.

"I wouldn't put my wife on this tire - it will fail.  She'll hit a bump, drop into a pothole, tap a curb at the right angle and this thing'll blow wide open," he says.

"Scott, thanks for finding it." I say.

"No problem. Sorry... I'll get the new snows mounted for you and get you out of here." Scott says.

I drive home on our spiffy new snow tires to tell my wife the news that someone, for lack of a better phrase, 'Has it out for her'. Or it could have been a 'Random act of Meanness', but I'm thinking not.

See, my wife is a Nurse Practitioner, she has patients coming into her doctor's office looking for cures to the common cold, Diabetes, Gout, Scurvy, and the normal selection of modern medical maladies.

However, there are also others who visit her doctor's practice.

These are the most interesting group of health care patients no one speaks of: Drug-seekers.

They can be rich, middle-class, or poor, it doesn't matter, they're from all socio-economic backgrounds. Apparently the desire to get prescription drugs offers an all-inclusive allure to them. They might be 'using' themselves, or 're-selling' prescription drugs on the street in order to supplement their incomes (it's the 'Economy' you know...).

To make a long story short, there is an entire economy out there of which I was blissfully unaware until my wife began her new job as a Family Nurse Practitioner. Graduate programs do not teach FNP's how to address the situation, but it is widely known in the practice of medicine by those folks who experience it daily.

Several weeks ago my wife had a patient from out of the area who was a state employee. An employee who works with children. The patient had driven almost an hour to seek medical treatment at my wife's office. Why? Because when you're drug-seeking, you don't mind driving a few miles to find your next provider of narcotics. Additionally, all your regional providers know who you are and stop writing prescriptions for you since they know what you're up to. It's that whole pesky "Supply and Demand" thing we learned in Economics 101. Someone stops supplying, you need to demand elsewhere...

The patient arrives at my wife's place of business with a shopping list of medications she needs prescriptions for. Each prescription is for what is commonly deemed to be a 'Controlled Substance'.

I wasn't there, I don't know the conversation (because my wife cannot tell me details of anything due to HIPAA privacy legislation) but what I do know is this, she really ticked off this person who works with children in a town within sixty minutes of my wife's office in a non-descript town which I cannot tell you about (because I don't want to go to jail).

In the end, the patient received no drugs, there were threats of murder and mayhem made by the patient, screaming in the office as well as the waiting room, Security called, and the DEA notified that the patient was drug-seeking and placed their name on a database for future 'watch' alerts.

Four days later my wife's tire goes kerbluey on I-81 while driving home, with its twin sporting a nasty sidewall cut. While I'm saying to two issues are related, please notice that I'm also NOT saying that they are unrelated.

Sunday, November 13, 5:55am: The Chase
In the end, it all comes down to pretty much the same as the last post: My wife is okay, I'm okay, our kids are okay and now we have two new snow tires on the front of the car for the upcoming winter season. Yeah, you could say it's all good...

The only difference is that when I attempt to find sleep the night following the 'cut tire' revelation I do not sleep as easily or as long as the night before.

As I was inspired by the kindness of two unknown men in a green Subaru, I am also rocked by the revelation that there may be an un-named patient armed with a box-cutter and empty syringe re-visiting my wife's place of work.

This particular evening I dream not of chasing bunnies, but rather of being chased by a howling woman in an open hospital gown. She runs behind me across the field screaming obscenities.  When I wake Sunday morning at 5:55am, I still felt pretty good, but upon waking the dream follows me.

It follows me right up until the moment I trip over my Golden Retriever for the six-thousandth time. Instead of reaching for the door handle which leads to the bathroom, I get down on my knees, then lay flat on my belly as I pet my ten year-old fuzzy friend awake for another day of bunny-chasing.

Turns out that I am home after all.

All is well. Another day begins.

However, questions remain: Why am I sharing my dog's dreams? And, will we ever catch that bunny?

I hope we do not.

If we did, what would we have to look forward to tomorrow...

Hope & 'Change'

2011-11-16T07:36:00.002-05:00

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

Friday, November 11, 2011, 5:40pm...
I leave work as I normally do, 30+ minutes after everyone else has left the building. Is it because I'm more dedicated than everyone else I work with? No. It's just my normal wind-down to the week, spending a few minutes to see if any one's read what I've posted here, check my e-mail one last time, shut down the laptop, and lastly, meander out to the parking lot wondering where the preceding week went.

I arrive to find that the parking lot the same as always. The split and crumbling black top provides a welcome refuge to hundreds of dark puddles. They lie well-concealed in the anemic haze thrown down by those yellowish street lights. Halogen lights? No, those lights are at least 'white'. These lights are the color of burning straw and cast off about the same amount of light as eleven matches lit simultaneously while held 20 feet in the air. I find the car, scratch the paint trying to find the hidden spot which houses the keyslot, open the door, and voila' I'm 'mobile' once again...

Next stop? WalMart! I can be there by 5:50, get my groceries by 6:10, swipe the debit card, jump back onto 17W and be home by 6:30 - sweet, there's nothing like having a plan. A guy told me once, "If you fail to plan - you plan to fail." So me? Yes, Siree Bob, I ALWAYS have a plan.

Then? What was it 6:15? Yeah, I was out of WalMart walking to the car when my cell phone gave that little buzz that lets me know that I have a call. The call, it turns out is from my wife. She's stopped in the parking lot at Lowe's reporting unnatural noises from the rear of the car. "Could it be a flat tire?" she asks.

"I don't know, you're in the car, I'm walking out of WalMart... Perhaps if we (a.k.a.: 'you') actually 'looked' at a tire, we'd know for sure?", the words came out by their own volition. I wanted to take them back, but, there they were, unleashed, and through the phone as the wind picked up and the rain began to fall. "Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes."

I arrive ten minutes later to find my wife sitting in the car and the passenger-side rear tire a bit 'shorter' than the driver's side twin. Since they used to be identical twins (neither being pancake-ish on the bottom) I can only assume that something 'bad' has happened to Mr. Cooper's offspring. I do what every guy does at 6:30 on a Friday night while looking at something he doesn't want to do while wearing a suit: I stalled. "Yeah, it looks a little bit 'low' compared to the other tire," I called to my wife as she sat in the car. "There's a gas station across the street, let's go see if we can pump this bad boy up and get it home so I don't have to change the tire (in my suit) in the rain."

"Okay, but why don't you drive the car over there for me?" my wife asked.

"Just out of curiousity, how long was the tire making noise before you got here?" I asked.

"A while, but I didn't want to stop on I-81, it's dark, it's starting to rain, and everyone drives about 75MPH. I didn't want you to have to change the tire there - it'd be dangerous." she said.

She was right, of course. Changing a tire on the side of I-81 in the rain, in the dark, on a Friday night is like daring God to 'take you out' (no, I'm not talking about 'to dinner', I'm talking about 'for eternity', i.e.: angels, harps, the whole nine yards). "Okay, hop out, I'll take our friend here across the street and see if we can pump some air into him."

The car, once rolling, made a 'Squish, squish, thump' noise as it limped it through the intersection and into the Hess Station parking lot. As I rolled tentatively up to the air pump, I feared that I had lost a friend - this tire had seen its last mile. I opened the door into the wind-driven rain and found that at this particular gas station 'Air' was not free. I walked into the store, handed the lady a $1 and received four shiny quarters which I dutifully fed into the machine for the next three minutes of air-pumping excitement. The tire did not go up. It sat there, rim low to the ground, taunting me. "Okay, you're outta there..." I said as I hung up the air hose.

Here's the thing about tires, jacks, and spares: You should really check all these 'piece parts' out before you need to use them. Oh, everything was there, but in a dark parking lot (did I mention it was raining?) staring at the overall 'flatness' of the tire, makes you wish you had done a dry run on this BEFORE the tire actually went flat. I suppose that I could have referred to the Owner's Manual in the glove box, but, hey, I'm a man - I never read directions on Christmas Eve, so I'm not going to start now... Especially with my wife watching.

I found a 'likely looking' spot for the jack under the frame, I work to loosen the lug nuts on the tire prior to lifting the tire off the ground as something in my right arm 'popped' a little as I curse quietly to myself and the pneumatically-tightened lug nuts resist my best efforts to remove them and then... All five lug nuts are loosened and ready for removal! I jack the car up high enough to put air between the tire and the ground, spin the tire, realize that, of course, the tire needs to be higher off the ground than it is, since the spare is NOT flat, and seconds later...

All five lug nuts are off the tire.  My broken tire hangs lifelessly a full four inches above the black top, I grab the tire to pull the tire away from the brake housing and then...

And then...

And then...

The unthinkable.

Nothing happens.

The rim, the tire, is magically 'stuck' on the studs somehow and is physically unwilling to LEAVE the car. Okay, I've change a LOT of tires in my life, but this is a new concept to me. I check to make sure there's not a locking 'thing-a-ma-bob' securing the rim to the car and there isn't.

I then do the thing I did not want to do: I call the guys who normally take care of my car hoping that someone is there and...

At 7:20pm on a Friday night someone is.

"Kick it!" Scott tells me over the phone.

"Kick what?" I ask, thinking I didn't hear him properly.

"Turn around, and kick that tire as hard as you can, it'll come off. Sometimes they corrode and 'stick'. If you can't get it off, call my cell phone and I'll stop by on the way home and help you with it. I'm leaving here in about fifteen minutes and I'll be driving right by there."

"No, that's okay, I'll do it, I'm a MAN, I'll kick that tire myself! Thanks Scott..." I said.

I turn around and begin kicking at my 'stuck' wheel.

NOTE TO SELF: If I must kick a tire in the future, keep a pair of waffle-stomper boots in the car. The black wing-tips don't work so well.

In the rain, in the wind, in the suit, the mostly insane man continues to attack the stuck tire with his foot...

Meanwhile:   A green Subaru Outback pulls up with two guys in it. The first man gets out and asks the question any normal person would ask, "What did that tire ever do to you?"

"Oh, it's stuck, it won't come off the car. It's possessed by demons." I say as my right foot pistons repeatedly into the tire.

"Oh yeah, I've had that happen before. Let me help you. I've got these big ol' boots on, I can get it off for you - I've done it before." he says as he walks up to where I'm standing.

"So you're a professional tire-kicker?"

"Yes sir, I am." he responds.

"Okay, if it's not too much trouble... Apparently, I'm not so good at this." I say.

"No problem, I'll have it off for you PDQ." he says.

The nice man from the Subaru leans back and delivers a kick to this tire that would have sent a Space Shuttle to the moon. The tire and rim remain stubbornly in place (I believe I heard it 'chuckle' at him but this is probably just my imagination).

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be, huh?" says the nice man who has made kicking my car's tire his personal vision quest.

He turns around and kicks the top of the rim 'backward' and the rim tilts, falls, then bounces lifelessly to the ground.

"Man, that thing was s-t-u-c-k on there!" he says as he reaches for the spare.

"No, I've got it, you guys go enjoy your Friday night. I'm good." I say as he ignores me.

"Nah, listen, I'm here, you're wearing a suit and all, and I'm already filthy from my job, I'll finish this up for you." He says this as I figure out that he's already gotten three of the lug nuts back on the tire.

"No, really, it's okay, I can do it..." I say as he spins the final two lug nuts onto the studs and begins to lower the car with a fluidity which is unnerving.

"Nothing to do, it's all done... Just put the jack and stuff back in the trunk and you're all set to go." he says.

I reach into my back pocket, pull my wallet out and offer him a $20 bill. "Go get a pizza or something, thanks for your help."

"No, don't worry about it, I'm just glad that we were here to help you. That tire was really stuck..." he said this as he opened the door to get back into his car.

"I really wish you'd take this..." I said, once again holding out the bill to him.

"You keep that for your tire, you're going to need a new one from the looks of it." he said.

"Thanks a lot guys, I really appreciate the help!" I call out as they drive away.

Just a wave through the glass is all I see as they cross the parking lot and head out back on their way

Friday, November 11, 2011, 7:50pm...

I am happy. Not happy about the tire, but you know, the tire is just a 'thing'. Things don't matter that much - they can always be replaced.

I'm happy because my wife is okay, I'm okay, and I was lucky enough to get smacked between the eyes with a stark reminder of how decent almost all people are. Writing about stuff which 'makes news' sometimes blots out the things which should get coverage in our lives.

Strangers coming to my, and my wife's, aid in changing a tire? No, it's not newsworthy for CBS, NBC, ABC, or FOX, but, honestly, it was the best news I got all week.

Because in the end, it's not about the things you 'have' - it's about what you leave behind when you cross the curb and head down the road to your next destination.

Thanks to the two nameless guys who taught me that 'Hope' does in fact, come from 'Change'.

Sometimes, even when it comes from the simple changing of a stubborn tire...

Next time you have the chance to make a difference for someone? Put your waffle-stompers on and get busy. I've got mine in the trunk of my car right now.

Have a nice day folks...

Let's leave this place better than we found it.